Is this a sign I will always be a loner?

[Anonymous]

I have tried numerous times to put myself out there to make friends, and while people do talk to me, nothing ever comes about in terms of friendships. Even more so now that I am a mum and I have no one in my life apart from my baby.

Recently, I have even started to reach out to people who I wasn't nice to in the past—people who I haven't seen or spoken to in more than 5 years—to apologise for not being a nice person to them, and it's resulted in me being instantly blocked. One of them was that I did not choose him to be in a relationship because I didn't have romantic feelings for him, and at the time I was also seeing someone. However, I was kind of rude when I rejected him. I didn't reach out to them to try and form any kind of friendship, as all of them have moved on and have their own lives and families now. I thought maybe. Reaching out and apologising, maybe God would open the door to allowing me to finally make some friends, especially now that I am a mum, but it hasn't happened. I’m seriously lonely in life

[TommyMountainFigure]

Just out of curiosity, when you contacted these people to apologise, would you say it came across as sincere, or that you only apologised because you needed friends?

Perception is everything

[Asker]

I felt I was apologising sincerely but maybe to the other person it didn’t come across that way.

I wrote along the lines of. I’m just reaching out to apologise for the way in which I treated you. It was never my intention to mistreat, abuse or be such a horrible person to you or to anyone. Please know that I do deeply regret the monster I turned into

Next I wrote along the lines of how I’m sorry I didn’t listen to their advice and snapped at them when they were there warning me about the guy I was seeing, and I went on to explain how they were right about him , before going on to explain that the guy never wanted to be with me, and how he finally told me this, but he waited until I was 6 months pregnant.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Yep that certainly sounded sincere to me. I'm really sorry you had it thrown back in your face, but at least you know you did the right thing eventually.
My guess is, after they have had time to digest your apology it could be they forgive you. For all you know they have been hurting all this time. That can't be repaired overnight.. I hope all turns out well though for you a, d ant least you have your baby. << I don't mean to trivialise when i say 'at least.'

[Asker]

Don’t be sorry. I probably deserved it since I was a huge bee. Only AH do what I did. Truthfully I don’t expect to ever be forgiven. I just knew they deserved an apology, but maybe my apology came too late or maybe as you said they are still hurting.

[Avicenna]

No, you can always meet new people rather than trying to talk to ones that you've already burned bridges with.

[Asker]

I only reached out to apologise to them, not to try and get them to be friends as I knew that wouldn’t happen. I genuinely owed them an apology and I thought since years had passed maybe it was the right time to apologise but I was wrong

[Anonymous]

Learn not to reject people or to lead them on

[Asker]

I didn’t lead them on. I originally wanted to be with him even made this clear for months, but he rejected me and he was even there calling me bro. He than went on to Tell me he didn’t want to be in a relationship. I eventually moved on and found someone else to be with, only for him to confess that he had feelings for me and asked me to pick him over the guy I’d been with for a few months. I was pretty heartless when I kind of laughed about him crying when he sent the voice recording asking me to be with him.

I’m someone who pretty much says straight out that I like them but doing this has always backfired on me because when I do I get rejected

[Anonymous]

I stopped reading at “god.”

[Asker]

Sorry.

[laly520]

keep on trying

[Asker]

Thank you. I will but I’m 38 and never had any friends. It’s hard but even harder I am now a mum and it’s dawning on me how my own daughter won’t have any birthday parties. She doesn’t have any other babies or anyone else to play with.