Should I make any effort with flakey friend?

[Anonymous]

My friend *Tammy* had a terrible life and suffers from bipolar disorder. She keeps flaking out on plans, after assuring me she wants to be friends. Should I give her a birthday gift, if she shows up, as her birthday’s coming up in a few months’ time; or should I just send her a birthday text?

[bobalife]

I think it’s exceptional due to her struggles. But generally a flakey friend w/o legitimate reasonings, I wouldn’t as the friendship is losing its meaning by their constant negative behaviors & low efforts to be a genuine good friend… it’s a toughie, but you can assessed what’s the best choice

[Anonymous]

I think don't expect too much from her and value what you get when you get it with it expecting the usual reciprocity.
As regards her birthday, sure, do what feels right for you. If she truly aspires to be your friend, she'll appreciate it even if she finds the reality of social interaction difficult.

[TommyMountainFigure]

As long as you remember her Birthday, whichever you prefer.

[Asker]

What’s more appropriate?

[TommyMountainFigure]

I have friends who buy each other presents on our Birthdays. Usually something for the car. I also have friends who phone and wish Happy Birthday.. I really don't know your friend or the relationship you have with her well enough to make that decision.. Go with your gut. That's normally the best thing to do.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t make plans with someone like that.