My fiancé wants to us to co-parent her nice, and sign her life away to be godmother to her friend’s kids. Which means I’m responsible for those kids if she takes them in, which I really don’t want.
I never planned on having kids. Neither did she, which is why we started dating in the first place. We both agreed that kids aren’t for either of us to a point where she even had an abortion.
Also, she keeps trying to talk me into having a vasectomy and I keep telling her “no”. I was supportive of the abortion because I don’t wanna put in the work/money into raising kids.
This morning we had the discussion about being the god mother to her friend’s children and her nice. To be honest I don't know if I wanna be with her if I have to raise another man’s children.
I asked her “why would you have an abortion and still adopt?”. Her response was “because I don’t have to birth them. My niece is my flesh and blood who’s apart of me, so you must treat her like your own child”.
She’s so anti having kids but wants us to be involved with everyone’s kids. It’s really fuckin annoying!!!
She don't want kids because of pregnancy, labor, and childbirth.
Your reasons for not wanting kids is you're unwilling to let them change your life with an added responsibility.
Sounds like for the most part both of you are living in comfort zones. You just want personal, "selfish" (not in a bad way) pleasure.
But that doesn't take away the evolutionary desire to procreate and the impact of a biological clock.
Maybe she thought she can have a kid one day without needing to breed it herself. But since it's her sister's kid she'd still he a blood relative.
And you're keeping the tubes running instead of getting a vasectomy because you're thinking maybe one day you'll reconsider.
The abortion means nothing. Many people abort and 5 years later make kids anyway. It's all about timing.
You're free to decline raising someone else's kid but this is not the same as her having kids with another man. The kid in question is neither yours nor hers. So it comes down to how willing, or unwilling, you are to do a good deed
Bro... she really said "my niece is my flesh and blood who’s a part of me, so you must treat her like your own child"?
Yet she aborted her OWN child😶😶 literally killed her OWN unborn child, then wants to adopt her niece?
That's fkd up and she should realise that, especially considering she went into this relationship with you knowing that you were both onboard with not having kids.
You keep writing about this, just break up. She aborted your kid but wants to take on her friends kids, what is the point? at least your own kid would be like you. Someone else's kids will just be annoying because they will be raised and taught differently. Plus you both decided not to have kids so why you still messing around with these idea's. Just move on, she isn't the one.
That way she can raise them all by herself, if she's willing to go that route. She doesn't want to give birth, you don't want children nor a vasectomy to be with her, so, the point is moot.
I would say no. I cannot imagine being put in that position. That you do not want kids and they or girlfriend are asking that you adopt the child. The girlfriend didn't want children and now wants this child. All I can see is problems with the family telling you how to take care of the child. This can cause a really big problem in the future if you get married. I know the child did not ask for this but it is not fair to you who want no children to be pushed to adopt one I wish you luck and hope you make the right choice in not marrying or marrying her. CHOOSE WISELY!
Some guys do take that on, some don't. It depends on individual circumstances. For example, in many families the men have always ended up being the caretakers of their wives' parents, however not everyone does this... or sometimes the duty simply falls to the eldest child (or whatever particular arrangement an individual sets up with his/her family).
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Anonymous
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Why does it matter whether other people think you are an asshole? If that's what you want to do, then nothing else would make sense for you, and you can't change who you are. Why not just call off the engagement, continue living together, then if she gets the kids, you can walk away without the trouble of a divorce?
You should be able to have your own kids. She sounds very selfish and is not thinking about you telling you to basically you can’t ever have kids to go to the hospital to cut You know what. Why is she demanding for you to do that? Don’t listen to her you better think twice about getting married. To her it’s a nightmare
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