If your daughter transitions to man, and you're asked, do you say you have a daughter or a son?

Question

This question is about terminology, nothing else.

Let's say you have a daughter, your only child. As an adult, she decides to transition to a man.

If someone then asks about your family, do you say you have a daughter or a son?

Please answer in the poll, and add a comment if you like.

CrazyGirl2 · Accepted Answer

I know this won't be popular, but I don’t see the big deal. If she transitioned into a trans-man? Obviously she would always still be female, but out of respect for my child, I would refer to her using male pronouns, if that was what. she wanted. But I’m a different generation than most people here, and one of my very best friends in the world is a trans-woman. She came out to us, in middle school, right before high school, but she didn't have puberty blockers, or any irreversible surgery until she was 18, when she got the “bottom surgery” but she did have breast implants at 15 or 16 I believe. Since that was completely reversible, and given how well we all knew Maddie at the time, it was appropriate (or at least not inappropriate) We went to a private school, and they allowed her to use a bathroom in the office. Maddie did feel left out of the social aspect of us girls hangin’ in the girls room. But she was cognizant of how any girls who did not know here, and her true nature as well as we did, might feel about someone they knew to have been a boy the year before, being in the girls bathroom! So it was NEVER a big deal at school. She really is a female in a male body, and she truly cared about not making other girls uncomfortable. (Unlike many these days, who claim to be “a real woman” but don't give a crap about how “other girls” will feel about a known boy suddenly using the girls bathroom and locker room! Plus, males with gender dysphoria HATE the fact that they have a penis, they don’t want to “show it off”! She did have some small amount of facial electrolysis to stop some hair on her chin from growing, but she’s about 5’4, 125lbs, with a slight frame, and honestly didn't even look like a guy. She always behaved like one of the girls and to us she WAS one of the girls.

So if my daughter told me that she was trans, then I would treat her the same way. Maddie's parents treated her. No irreversible surgery before 18, and no hormones or hormone blockers until 18. But I would (as I said) respect her enough to get her the mental health care she needed, and if she was diagnosed with actual Gender Dysphoria, then I would respect that and start referring to her as him. Again, to my generation, especially the women, this is not that big of a deal, and most of us believe that just having a little respect and compassion for someone with gender dysphoria, is better than discounting their entire lived experience within their own body, and telling them that they are just pretending. As long as there are no hormones or puberty blockers, and no irreversible surgery, until 18, I don’t see a problem with her dressing however she/he wants…. I get DM’s from guys all the time asking me what I think of men who wear panties, so what’s the big deal if my daughter wants to wear Y-fronts? Who cares? If it is a phase, then it should resolve itself years before the age of 18. So again, what’s the big deal?

Just my opinion,
Laura 🤗 🥰

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

This is not funny, it's horrifying. I'd be devastated and wonder "How?" "Why"? I hope to God I never am faced with that. I do think about it sometimes and what I would do.

The first thing I would do is be very calm and listen. Then, I would order a hormone panel for her. The chances are extremely good that she has low hormone levels for her sex, causing depressive, delusional and suicidal feelings. Then I would have her take a bioidentical, compounded hormone, depending on the test results. I suspect that she'd be back to her old self within a week. I know this is a real possibility because I've had my hormones flatline before and finally figured it out.

Many trans people say that as soon as they got on the hormones, they felt great. In my mind, the first response is to check that and see if that is all it is. Hormones are no joke and they have extreme effects on mood and perspective.

genericname85 · Accepted Answer

well one thing is for damn sure. my kid will not do any gender changing bullshit till they are 18. if then they still feel like chemicaly or physically castrating themself, then i guess i can't stop them. but the fact is that most people around the puberty and later do experience gender dysphoria. some more and some less. it's completely normal. and the overwhelming majority of those who struggle with this, will not struggle anymore naturally in their mid to late twenties. these issues usuall resolve by themself. the only reason to get any meds or surgery is so that so called "health professionals" can stuff their pockets with your money.

if gender isn't defined by genitals, then why does physically removing genitals affirm gender?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

"i have failed as a parent"

Is the only thing I could say in that situation.

The toxic cocktail of trauma it requires for a person to feel the need to transition always boils down to bad parenting at the youngest of ages.

My folks weren't perfect but they bent over backwards to make sure I have as little trauma as possible growing up and that kind of love is priceless.

I would hope that I can give that love to my kids someday and spare them the influence of the sick and degenerate desperately trying to pass themselves for normal parts of society.

SugarSugarplum · Answer

A girl  can't  transition to a man. She will never sire children, the best she can hope for is that she'll resemble a man superficially. No woman who wants children will want her. Therefore not a man. All she has done is tossed her future happiness with kids and grandkids in the trash. I would be devastated.

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

I'd refer them as my son. I wouldn't mention they're trans though because 1. it's no one's business and 2. I wouldn't want them to be targeted. If they choose to say they're a trans man to the person that's fine, as they are willingly sharing that information.

hanabunny · Answer

I think it depends on how well he/she "passes" or is committed to the transition, and how well the people I'm talking to understand that kind of thing. But I feel like being the mother to a child and watching them grow as a girl would make them always feel like your daughter in your heart.

BetaBucks · Answer

I don't believe transitioning is a thing. I would have a daughter that choose to pretend to be a male. And I'll love and respect her, and try to get her help if she sincerely believes that she was born in the wrong body. But I won't play into her delusions. That's evil.

Klandestina · Answer

She will be a woman pretending to be a man. There's no such thing as gender assigned at birth. Now people can do as they wish, but it doesn't change the reality.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I think I would talk to my son/daughter about it and see what they feel is appropriate. I would not want to presume what to refer her/him. After all, it's their life and out of respect and love I would go with the flow.

straightmax12 · Answer

I would say she's my daughter because she's not a motherfucking man! It's really stupid that trans people think that just because they underwent surgery to look like the opposite sex they are the opposite sex. You are the gender you're born as. Nothing more.

Agape93 · Answer

Whatever they happen to be is how I'd address them, but I'll still see them as how they are born. Otherwise what little connection I have with be wholly gone.

DizzyDesii · Answer

She would remain a “she” or I would refer to her as an “it”. Her only choices… cause i wouldn’t be calling her a “him” or “they”

OlderAndWiser · Answer

She would be a woman pretending to be a man.

HawkPerception · Answer

Neither. I'd pull an Elon Musk.

purplepoppy · Answer

I'd respect my offsprings wishes and use the word son. I wouldn't feel the need to explain it to a stranger.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I would say yes, I don't know you'll have to ask them.

Anonymous · Answer

That preference would be guided by the child I'm sure. Depends on the relationship though, if the parent is big enough a person to handle it maturely or not. Lots of hate out there.

Iron_Man · Answer

I don’t support that and I wouldn’t tolerate it. This is totally unacceptable. I won’t allow it. Not a Bruce Jenner situation now known as Kaitlyn total garbage

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

She will always be a girl because she was born as one so I never support delusion.

Ladsin2 · Answer

i also say nothing

Anonymous · Answer

A son because I am not a narrow-minded asshole.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Questions like this make me happy I am sterile.

Twalli · Answer

Until she fully transitions she's a daughter and vice versa.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

''I had a daughter once. But she disappeared'' More precisely: my kids are now grown up, and they are sane. It' would not happen.

canamoldboybrady · Answer

If your daughter transitions to a man, you have a SON.

Staximus · Answer

I can wear a shark fin on my head and tell everybody I'm a shark but that doesn't make me a shark, it just makes me an idiot.

Anonguyfella · Answer

Tell her she’s not, and ask her who’s been grooming her and beat the shit out of that degenerate.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Son. It's that simple.

Daniela1982 · Answer

I have an "It".

chrissykerdock · Answer

strange situation

exitseven · Answer

I csnnot imgne this.

shortster · Answer

Daughter. Sex in humans is immutable.

Anonymous · Answer

I say they are no longer my child

Anonymous · Answer

I have a transformer at home

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