My mum still won't stop making nasty comments towards me and nitpicking why won't she stop?

[Monalisa77]

I made a really big effort to tidy the room for visitors and she was constantly criticising, even though i through my stuff in a cupboard which i clearly didn't expect her to open it to them. Its non stop and I've even told her my legs are getting so bad im worried i won't be able to walk due to how bad my anxiety affects me. Im sat here over thinking things and can't sleep

She constantly lies to me and defend s people who treats me like crap and laugh s about me being upset. When i tell her off for breaking confidentiality she smiles. I swear she's a sociopath

Updates

1 y

She knows how private i am online snd i begged her not to put my picture up on public platform but she still did it along with my name. When i asked her to delete it she deleyede off her fb and was going to wipe all my photos ogf her phone. I can't believe this woman is in her 60s

Updates

1 y

Deleted me

[Oliverlogan263]

That seriously sucks, I'm sorry you've gotta deal with that from your mom. No wonder your anxiety is so bad! Having someone constantly criticize you and nitpick little things would stress anyone out.

And lying to you, laughing at you for being upset, breaking your privacy - that's just super messed up. I can understand why you'd think she's a sociopath or something. No normal parent would act like that.

It sounds like you really tried to compromise by putting stuff away when you cleaned your room, but she just won't let up. I don't blame you for being at your limit after bringing it up so many times. Your health is more important than her finding things to complain about.

Have you talked to your dad or any other family about it? Maybe they could help get her to back off some. Or is there a friend you could vent to when she's being rude, to help take your mind off it? You definitely shouldn't have to just deal with her disrespect constantly. I hope things improve for you somehow. Best of luck dealing with it all, Luv.

[Monalisa77]

She won't listen to anyone. It was the front room, as im doing the open university and have a really sore neck since June (see post about the teacher) i try my best but nothing is ever good enough.

[Monalisa77]

I dont have any, I've tried but people just want to seem to ruin things for me. She won't allow me to go out n try to find a boyfriend, and even when i try to arrange going out when i have the opportunity she makes all excuses. Even at Christmas time when i went to the pub with my brother she was tutting

[Monalisa77]

*brother s

[Monalisa77]

If i was allowed to put in the effort im fairly sure id find a boyfriend eventually. It seems like she doesn't want me to have a bette rlife than her.. Its fairly obvious she doesn't want me to get a degree, she knows the deadlines are coming up and seems to have booked things so i won't have time to do the work. She keeps banging on itll be too hard so if i fail she can say i told u so

[Monalisa77]

I feel like people dont want me to be moaning about her to them, when i have done they don't reply

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh my gosh sis, I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this. It's totally not okay how your mom keeps trying to sabotage your life and opportunities. You deserve so much better.

It does really seem like she's threatened by you having independence and success. Some parents can't stand seeing their kids do better than them, so they try to hold them back out of jealousy. It's a toxic power trip.

At this point, I'd seriously consider going low or no contact until you finish school. Her constant interference is sure to cause more harm to your mental health and studies. You need space to focus on you.

Is there anyone else you could stay with, even just temporarily to get distance? An understanding friend or other relative? They may be more supportive of your goals.

You've also got every right to tell people you trust exactly how she treats you - don't bottle it up to spare her feelings. True friends will stand by you. And please seek counseling if you can - they can help validate your experience.

Most importantly, do NOT let her get in your head telling you that you can't succeed. She's just projecting her own failings. You've got this sis - you're so strong for persisting despite her sabotage. Keep pushing toward your degree and a better future, away from her toxic BS. I believe in you!

[Monalisa77]

I dont know anyone who doesn't know her. Even my brother defend ed her actions just cos someone asked her to put the picture up (she wasn't forced to) im really not v well, i have a v painful neck to deal with now (i can't sleep due to the twitching) I've got vertigo n severe tinnitus. Ou is all online and will take me 6 years to do. Pretty much my only hope is to find a boyfriend

[Monalisa77]

Because i know if i found someone who genuinely loves me and will have my back, id be able to deal with her better if im. In a happier place

[Monalisa77]

I've enroled on a gcse programming in person course which is supposed to be starting soon, i haven't heard anything yet that would take 2 years but would help me with my online learning

[Monalisa77]

Im usually with her 99% of the time, so its almost impossible to make friends cos she either but s in or they mainly talk to her n she slags me off. And when i get an opportunity to talk to people she intruppts me, and yet she says i take too long to tell a story, its only cos of the negativity from. Her and lack of experience is why i find it difficult to talk to people. I know when i click with people they really do like me but they're so rare to find

[Monalisa77]

But then she literally talks all the time, its like she needs to be the centre of attention.

[Monalisa77]

She only wants independence for me when it suits her. So say i want to organise something for myself away from her, she tends to throw it back in my face that i won't be able to cope.

[Monalisa77]

But when she wants to do something and if i need help which means she can't, she tells me i need to be more independent

[Monalisa77]

I do go to a place where i am supposed to be getting help to findna job but anytime I've tried talking to people about her they tell me im. Being disrespectful towards my mother and not to be so horrible. Theyve only been in the same room as her a few times

[Monalisa77]

Counselling won't stop the way she behaves

[Monalisa77]

She broke my ctrl key and she didn't care. Hasn't even offered to get if fixed

[Monalisa77]

She got her own degree with the ou and she's a teacher, 4 grown up adults, 3 got married but there's only 1 left who is but 4 grandkids. So not sure how she has failed, other than a miserable marriage

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl I am so sorry you're going through this, it sounds absolutely awful. Your mom's behavior is completely unacceptable and toxic. No wonder your anxiety and health issues are getting so bad - who wouldn't be stressed living with that?

It makes me so mad that other people are siding with her and not recognizing how emotionally abusive she's being towards you. They're just enabling her terrible treatment at this point. Please try not to internalize what they say though - they clearly don't understand the full situation like you do.

Is there any way you can avoid being around your mom as much? Maybe find excuses to spend more time at the library studying, taking long walks, etc. Just anything to lessen her control and opportunities to put you down.

And please don't give up on meeting people - try joining local facebook groups for your interests to find likeminded friends. Even online support could help lift your spirits until you're able to get more independence. You deserve so much better than this toxic environment!

You're clearly very smart and strong to have gotten this far despite her. Keep focusing on your studies and don't let her sabotage get you down. And vent to me anytime - sometimes just having an outside ear helps. Sending you big virtual hugs girl, stay strong! 💜

[Anonymous]

Your Mum has demons and the only way to combat all of her nasty talk is by confessing out loud, a relevant part of the Word that replaces her lies with the truth from God until she stops. When you do this every single time she says something, she will stop.

[Monalisa77]

I do and she won't

[Opinion Owner]

For example?

[Monalisa77]

just Saturday when she critisized me cleaning up, i said what she said was v hurtful but she said i was taking it the wrong way. what other way can i take "is this tidy?" and looking at my cousin when she saw i threw the books in the cupboard

[hanabunny]

Some moms are just impossible to please, mine is like that. It makes it feeling like doing anything less than completely perfect is pointless. I’m glad I get to live on my own now because it can be so draining living that way. I’m sorry you have to deal with that

[Monalisa77]

She denies that its criticism 😂😂😂

[hanabunny]

Yup good luck getting her to take accountability for a single thing 😅

[Monalisa77]

She just twists everything.

[hanabunny]

Yeah that’s how my mom is too. She will find something wrong out of absolutely nothing

[Monalisa77]

Its exhausting. Its half 2 n i can't sleep. She puts the dishwasher on during the night n im constantly woken up during the night, i suffer with severe tinnitus n i said illl pay for the extra costs but she won't shift to try n see if itll help my sleep issues

[hanabunny]

Oh wow I’m sorry. Does the dishwasher sound mask the ringing in your ears at least? Or it makes it worse?

[Monalisa77]

No my t is weird, it detects noise and she doesn't believe me. So if i hear similar noise that I've got in my head it makes it worse.

[hanabunny]

Oh that makes sense, I’m sure she says you’re just making it up lol like anyone would do that for attention

[Monalisa77]

We also have barking dogs behind us during the night too. Im calling the council on Monday im fed up of it

[Monalisa77]

Exactly. Itss constant qs to try n trip me up. It dont bother me as much in large rooms where its busy etc except near large speakers or loud car noises etc

[Monalisa77]

She was completely obsessed with the olympics to the pt she went down to meet one of the lads who lives near us who got gold. She was never bothered before... I was begging to go before the tickets came out but my health declined so i knew i wouldn't cope. 😂

[Anonymous]

She needs a good dicking in the absence of that buy her the extra thick 10 inch DrKing vibrating Dildo to get her to chill out.