Do you know any perfectionists who don't hold themselves to the same standards?

[MicahRaine]

I know a few perfectionists, and they're great. My best friend is actually a perfectionist. We're friends because even though he's a perfectionist and I can drive him crazy (and he can drive me crazy), we both respect each other and hold ourselves to the same standards that we hold everyone else.

Now to the main event, do you know any perfectionists who don't hold themsleves to the same standards?

I've known a few, and we've never been able to stay in contact for long. With the most recent episode of a friend like that, I pretty quickly noticed that he quite often pointed out flaws or mistakes made by others (even if not verbally) and rarely (if ever) noticed his own flaws. But he was a self-proclaimed perfectionist.

At first I thought "maybe he's hyperfocused and that's why he can't keep track of himself sometimes" and then I thought "no, maybe he's just lazy or doesn't actually care?" And then I realized. He wasn't a "perfectionist," he just thought he was perfect. Basically, he was a narcissist.

Would you agree that perfectionists who don't hold themselves to the same standards are narcissists?

Everything in this picture describes him to a T

Yes

No

That's a thing? (Results)

[DizzyDesii]

I think more insecure people are narcissists rather than those who are also perfectionists. Perfectionists just want shit done right and in a certain way. But the insecure narcissists seek constant validation to be told theyre pretty/hot, smart, talented etc. At least 2 of my exes, a few of my friends and cousins, and my two parents are just like that. They will drain you of your energy. Theyre like bloodsucking vampires who leech onto you anytime they need to be made felt good about themselves. And any little compliment makes them feel superior until they fall into that depressive needy state again and crave attention, usually from a new person. Once theyve drained one person dry of compliments and attention, they seek their next victim. And when they can't find anyone dumn enough to keep feeding them, they’ll try to circle back around to those who once gave them attention/compliments. Once they realize the BS and fake rears no longer work on those from the past, then they become violent and that bipolar side shows. They bully those they admire and are envious of AND those they bully are the same ones they seek attention/compliments from. Anyways back to perfectionists… they are their own biggest critics. They like but do not need compliments because they’ll never actually believe what others tell them anyways. Perfectionists have to find self love on their own time and thats how they learn to believe in themselves and their talents/beauty. I am a perfectionist when it comes to school, work and organizing things. I do love to flirt but its more so to make others happy and I feed off other making others happy to make myself happy. A narcissist feeds off your happiness and steals your happiness to make themselves happy. Its not the same. Insecure people like Narcissists are not perfectionists but they do create perfectionists out of those theyve drained dry. A narcissist is why a perfectionist will never feel “good enough” even when we feel great. *sigh* This is my opinion of course… not a fact… bt i’m basing it off of my personal experiences

[DizzyDesii]

Oh but back to the main question, perfectionists hold themselves to the same standards. A narcissist however does not

[DizzyDesii]

Damn i made a lot of typos above 😂 Outside of work I guess I’m not a perfectionist cause i have grammar issues like a mf

[DizzyDesii]

Based off this chart, i agree with the first and second bullet point. But i disagree with point 3 as idgaf if people like or dislike me. I only care if the person i date likes or dislikes me. I also agree with point 4 and 5. I dont agree with point 6 because i do ask for help when it comes to work/school but lazy hoes never want to help. As for point 7, i’ll tolerate mistakes for a short while depending on the mistake. But if its something i’ve repeated that needs to be corrected, then nah we have a problem. As for point 8, there's only ever been a huge fight when we are breaking up for good and i’m trying to ensure that I never want to go back to the relationship. As for point 9, yes i dont like leaving my comfortzone and thats often been what led to a breakup or argument. Im stubborn and stuck in my ways. I warn people of this early on. If they chose to continue pursuing me after i warned them that I DO NOT CHANGE, then thats on them 🤷‍♀️

[MicahRaine]

"I think more insecure people are narcissists rather than those who are also perfectionists."
I totally agree with that, although clearly there are exceptions.

"They like but do not need compliments because they’ll never actually believe what others tell them anyways."
That's often true and really sad honestly.

"A narcissist feeds off your happiness and steals your happiness to make themselves happy."
Facts! Unfortunately they can never see that.

[MicahRaine]

"Oh but back to the main question, perfectionists hold themselves to the same standards. A narcissist however does not"
Yeah I'm with you there. Narcissists think they're perfect sometimes though which pisses me off lol

[MicahRaine]

I didn't even notice any typos lmao

[HawkPerception]

@DizzyDesii damn... that perfectionist list image pretty much described me with every point...

[MicahRaine]

This is a good chart, I might steal it for a question lol

1. I've always struggled with, but focusing on Raine helps me do it less and less.
2. I used to be the most competitive little mf 4-16 lmao. I could take a loss like a champ, but I NEVER let it rest lol I would grind my little butt off until I could win consistently.
3. That's real, but only if it's someone I care about.
4-6 I'm 50/50 on.
7-8 I strongly disagree with. That's just not who I am.
9. Just depends. I don't mind doing something embarrassing if it's for a good reason.

[DizzyDesii]

@MicahRaine yea i had at least 3 typos lol. I like your explanations for the chart as well

@HawkPerception damn EVERY point? You care about being liked and you won't even ask for help?

[MicahRaine]

I'm the last person to judge typos lol

[HawkPerception]

@DizzyDesii Yeah... the care about being liked... I've come a long way. Here I don't give af. But in person, I do get a little sad when people don't like me 😂 Sad little people please to an extent

[DishLady]

Oooh. Yes. Very odd birds indeed. I tend to avoid them.


I’m a stickler for some stuff, but I’m harsher on myself (to “practice what I preach”) than I am on others.

[MicahRaine]

Yep I'm the same way.

[HawkPerception]

I'm definitely a perfectionist and it's held me back in life quite a bit. I've been trying to overcome it, but it's tough. Everything always needs to be picture perfect to me to start or finish. And obviously it never is that way, so progress is never made.

For me though, I'm extremely critical and harsh on myself. I hold myself very accountable for all of my mishaps in life. I AM critical of others as well when it comes to views, opinions, and their way of thinking, but I'm definitely critical of myself.

[DizzyDesii]

Glad im not alone 😂 The first step is admitting it. But again i do not think we are narcissists. They are on a wholeass nother level

[MicahRaine]

I get that. Realizing that you have to start with imperfection was a long and hard road for me lol

If you don't have double standards, that's a W. In my opinion, everyone needs/can benefit from having a friend who is a perfectionist and holds them to a higher standard.

[DizzyDesii]

I just feel like i can't hold anyone to a hire standard if i myself have not met that goal yet. Prob why i let certain exes slide with certain mistakes they made because i remember making those same mistakes

[MisterWack]

‘Relatives’. That is all I’ll say.

[MicahRaine]

Well ain't that relatable

[MisterWack]

@MicahRaine Well it answers the question.