I had a miscarriage and recently found out one of my close friends is pregnant is it okay to be jealous?

[Anonymous]

Basically at 16 weeks there was no fetal heartbeat so they had to remove the fetus. Recently a close friend told me she's expecting and I'm genuinely so happy for her but it has triggered my own loss and I am a little envious of her which makes me feel guilty.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ay girl, don't even feel bad about feeling envious or jealous - that's a totally normal human reaction after what you went through. Losing your baby was traumatic, and of course you still want that for yourself so badly.

It'd be weirder if you WEREN'T a little jealous of seeing your friend pregnant now, you know? What's important is that underneath, you really ARE still happy for her too. Those feelings can exist at the same time.

When she tells you about her pregnancy, let her know you love her and are excited, but also be real about still grieving your loss. A good friend will understand you need extra love and support right now too. Don't bottle it up trying to act all happy - reach out if you need to vent sad stuff.

And don't feel guilty. You deserve to honor your own experience without holding back emotions. In time, being around her pregnancy will get easier as you continue healing. But cut yourself some slack for feeling whatever you need to in the moment, ya heard?

You got this girl. Keep surrounding yourself with people who get it and let the feels out when they come. You'll get through to the other side, no doubt.

[razelove]

Yeah, just try not to show the jealousy too much. One of my aunts is around my age, and was going through IVF around the same time my wife was pregnant for our third kid, and it failed for her the umpteenth time.

She was straight talking about how she felt jealous that she had one kid and was trying so hard, and saw us with three. It was, uncomfortable, because what do you say? We weren't particularly close before then, and we got farther apart after that.

You two are close, so that's different, maybe talk to her about it. Girls do have that advantage of being able to talk about the feels, maybe take advantage of it.