Should I just give her $30 on a Christmas gift card?

[MoonFace2]

My friend has policed her birthday and Christmas gifts, telling me she doesn’t want the stuff I’ve bought her, only consumables. She’s said that she doesn’t want me to drop them off at her place, but expects me to carry lots of heavy bags of stuff one bus trip into the city and one crowded train trip of about a million stations to a pub. Which is far less convenient and right out of my way. It would nearly kill me, carting all of that out all that way by myself.

I’m generally a very generous person. My friend is a good friend, but she’s always been very rude and somewhat disrespectful and out for herself. I normally spend heaps on birthday gifts. Treating close friends more like family. Would $30 be enough on a supermarket gift card? One for her birthday and one for Christmas? To give her a decent gift, while also being a way of setting boundaries with my friend?

[bowenw]

I think it’s rude to question gifts and your generosity in that way. Personally that would put her on the naughty list. No gift and none going forward.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[NathanDavis]

yep... and if she complains about them, then cash them yourself... lol

[MoonFace2]

The thing is, I understand that she doesn’t even realise how much she’s hurt my feelings, or disrespected me. She’s got no clue in social situations and isn’t deliberately rude or mean. However, it’s still not very fair to me.

[NathanDavis]

she doesn't realize it...

did you communicate it to her? did you tell and explain to her how you feel about this?

[MoonFace2]

I have tried in the past. She’s autistic and was genuinely clueless and unable to understand. It only confused her. Best to just make less effort, I think.

[Loverea]

Do what you're convenient with

[eagle1951]

wow do the card

[paledreams]

I would gift her