I tell my mom she shouldn't say "good" whenever people ask her how she is?

[Anonymous]

She's like oh you can't say that, they're not asking seriously, blah blah.. well, you are still lying by saying you're good. Let them know you're in pain, money is tight, you're depressed a lot, etc.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

People usually ask “how are you” as small talk. If you present them with a problem, their first feeling relating to that knowledge is going to be anxiety, which will then lead them to try to help you solve the problem. You might already know the solution, or that the problem has no solution, so there’s not much point in accepting their help, which only makes them feel more anxious and guilty for being unable to help you with the problem you presented because they would have taken it as you asking for help. Your mom’s way of doing it is just to say that she doesn’t need help with her problems, so the person asking doesn’t gain the same subconscious anxiety.

[rosemilk]

well honestly i say i'm good because it would take too much emotional energy to state everything that is wrong and how i'm feeling when the person does not need that trauma dump at all. it's weird. in modern society, "how are you" is more of a greeting, not an invitation to state how you are feeling.

[meepmeeperton]

She's right, asking people how they are is more of a formality. Most people have their own problems and wouldn't really care to hear all that after a simple "how are you".

[DryGermanGuy]

That's the German way, actually. Are you German?

[jojouzumaki]

I usually respond “fine” since not all people are not genuine on the question so why bother to engage.


Her response mirrors to the other person’s asking. It not lying at all since her time is too precious not to waste it on such.

[On_cloud_wine]

Some people ask about you’re well being because they’re just curious; some ask because they actually care..