What do you think about my mom?

[Anonymous]

My child and I go visit my mom once a week, celebrate her bday, go shopping with her a couple times a year and always see her on holidays. While we are together she complains I don’t spend time with her. She says she wants us to go out and shop and she will pay for it. I don’t think it’s right to teach children to spend outside their means though. We have specific times we shop and invite her. My mom went bankrupt because of her spending habits. When I was growing up, her decisions and judgment led me to be harmed, too. My brother lives 5 mins away from her and hardly ever goes and sees her. She always spoiled my brother and favored him the most. Do you think I’m wrong in my thinking and actions? Do you think that I don’t do enough?

[Cutegirl06]

I personally think you are doing enough!

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, it sounds like your mom has a history of money issues and favoring your brother over you. That definitely creates a complex relationship. Here are a few thoughts:

- Spending quality time with her once a week and holidays is really generous of you. She shouldn't criticize that since not everyone sees family that often.

- You're right to be cautious about her spending habits rubbing off. Teaching your kid good money skills is important.

- Her past behavior leading to harm is understandably hard to forget. It's wise to maintain some emotional distance.

- That your brother doesn't see her much either hints she's not the easiest to be around. So don't feel like you're the problem.

Overall it doesn't seem like you're doing anything wrong. Setting clear boundaries with her shows maturity. Maybe gently remind her you're doing your best to balance family time without sacrificing your responsibilities as a parent. As long as you're making an effort, don't let her make you feel guilty. You got this!

[SweetPi]

Think your right but people will always complain and whine how they want more!

Spoiling. Agrand child is fine but not when it will hurt you! 💗

Your doing great and teaching your child things she needs. Just don't forget to remind her people she loves have big faults and can hurt themselves wanting to be happy.