Why do many people have kids if they have no patience with them?

[Anonymous]

I'm nearly 2 months pregnant (within marriage) and ready with all the patience and time in the world to raise a son or daughter.

For instance what's the point of yelling or calling them names? That's just as bad as hitting them. Why even be a mother or father if you have no patience? When I was little, my father would react badly if I didn't understand a math homework on his 3rd explanation. He had no patience to teach. Many years later, he admitted himself that he would go crazy (even be fired from the job right away) if he had to teach several students in a classroom and they didn't learn on the 3rd time. That wasn't ever my fault. Everyone learns at different paces. I've made a promise to myself and that's to NEVER ever take my anger out on my child. How can you hurt someone you claim to love, esp your own child?

Personally if you bring kids into the world and they stressed you out because you have no patience then you don't deserve being a parent. That means you're not prepare for the hard work and commitment. So why do many people bring kids into the world if they got no patience?

[Apple1996]

Kids will test your patience. I use to think I was calm and patience then my second son was born and humbled the fuck out of me. I'll never judge a parent again or yelling or spanking their kids because a lot of times it's truly the kid being nuts and not the parent. Everyone has a breaking point when they are no longer gonna be patient anymore. For the parents who have never experienced that probably just got lucky

[Asker]

I think if a child needs extra help with their math homework and doesn't understand on your 3rd explanation, that deserves patience. That doesn't merit a yelling at the top of your lungs nor a spanking. They didn't do anything bad in trying to learn but not understanding things at your pace.
If a kid is really nuts, there are lots of behavioral child therapists and psychologist available too. Maybe they really have a disorder and need extra help.

[Asker]

There are that yell and spank right away as first resort without even considering other options first at least. They just go straight forward to relieving their own frustrations. I find that laziness.

[Garud]

People want to divert attention from their problems and give a purpose to life.
So they give birth to a child and then make his/her life difficult.
Suppose some supreme power removes selfish behaviour from humans then very few people will have children

[Asker]

Then they're hypocrites. If a school teacher or someone else in the family member did the same thing they did (take it out on the child if they don't understand a homework), all the sudden it's a ''how dare you do this to my child''.
At least when my future child grows, he/she can proudly say ''No one, not even my parents, take it out on me nor yell''.

[Garud]

your kids will be lucky because there are very few parents who really care for the mental well-being of their child

[Asker]

Thank you and yes it's sad how very few people actually have 100% dedication to be parents.

[Berethor]

Mistakes happen from time to time, without them some of us would never been born. :)

[Asker]

yeah but I was a planned, wanted pregnancy. My parents (still married) wanted a child shortly after their marriage. This what gets me even wondering more.
It's one thing if was a surprised pregnancy and you might not have the patience but if it was planned, then you would have to have patience. So to be a wanted child but yet take it out on the child if they don't learn fast, that makes no sense.

[Berethor]

Your dad wanted a heir, that's a logical reason for having a kid, don't you think?

[Asker]

He got it 15 years later. So now they have me and my younger brother. If my parents were to pass away of old age, both my brother and I will inherit their property. Therefore, just like my brother I would still be a heir.

[AI Opinion]

Hey there soon-to-be supermom! 🌟 People often underestimate the patience and dedication it takes to be a parent, jumping in with ideas of love and family but forgetting the everyday challenges. Stress, unprocessed emotions, or old patterns like your dad experienced can creep in, overshadowing their true intentions. Understanding parenting skills or patience levels beforehand isn’t always possible. You’re miles ahead with your self-awareness and promise to nurture patiently—your kiddo is lucky! Keep spreading those positive vibes! 💖👶

[jahaims]

For selfish reasons

[Asker]

Exactly. It's all about them wanting the happy, Sunny part... the love and family but not the challenges such as when the child doesn't understand their homework (requiring your full patience) or makes mistakes and you have to guide them, not take it out on them.
I find it very selfish when it's actually a planned pregnancy, a wanted child both were so excited about to just have no patience when teaching them. It makes no sense at all.
I'm nearly two weeks pregnant myself (planned by both my husband and I) and already know it won't be happy, sunny days all the time. I'm prepared for all the flaws.