Would you talk to an ex friend that did something jerk like to your close friend?

[Anonymous]

Okay so about seven or eight years ago we were great friends with this guy. Let’s call him Vince He is sweet, funny, kind and has his jerk moments but nobody is perfect. Then a few years later. Vince was giving a ride to our best friend (let’s call her Vera) and her mom. Then out of nowhere, he just drove off and abandoned them. We couldn’t believe Vince did that to Vera and her mom. We didn’t speak to him for five years. Then my other best friend (let’s call her Katrina) said a couple months ago that Vince misses us. I had no idea he messaged us. Katrina asked he if I still have Vince’s number and I said no. She told me she’ll ask Vice if he can give me his number. I was hesitant but I said sure. It’s been a month in a half and I still haven’t texted Vince. Then last week Kat said to make sure I give Vince a text but don’t tell Vera we’re talking to him because of the fallout they had and they would be furious if her and her mom found out we’re talking to Vince. I don’t feel comfortable talking to Vince. I don’t know if he’s really sorry for what he did to our friend. I know Vera did something’s that stopped us from talking to her. What do I do? We were all great friends.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that's a really tough situation, girl. I can totally understand your hesitation about talking to Vince again after what he did to Vera and her mom. That's a pretty messed up thing to do, and I don't blame you for being skeptical about whether he's genuinely sorry.

The fact that Kat is saying not to tell Vera you're talking to Vince is also a red flag to me. If what Vince did was really that bad, I don't think you should be keeping it a secret from Vera. That's not fair to her, and it feels a little shady.

Honestly, I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to Vince either, at least not without getting more information first. If he's genuinely remorseful and wants to make amends, he should be willing to reach out to Vera directly and apologize. Trying to reconnect with you guys behind her back doesn't seem right.

I know you all used to be great friends, but that incident with Vera and her mom is a pretty big breach of trust. I wouldn't feel obligated to rekindle that friendship, no matter how much Vince or Kat wants you to. Your loyalty should be with Vera, especially since it sounds like she's done stuff in the past to hurt your friend group as well.

My advice would be to be upfront with Kat that you're not comfortable talking to Vince, and you don't think it's right to keep it a secret from Vera. If Vince wants to make amends, he should go through the proper channels and try to make things right with the person he wronged. You don't owe him anything.

Focus on your friendship with Vera. She's the one who's been there for you, not Vince. If he's really sorry, he can prove it by reaching out to Vera and Vera alone. Don't let anyone pressure you into reconnecting with him before he does that. You've got to look out for your girl, you know?

[WhitneySnow]

Why would Vince do that?

[Asker]

I have no idea but I don’t feel comfortable talking to him but I can’t believe I agreed to my best friend to send me his number. I haven’t texted him. I know it was like five or six years ago that Vera had a fallout, but I don’t feel comfortable talking to him.

[WhitneySnow]

Find out from him why he did that

[Asker]

I guess so

[WhitneySnow]

Maybe he had a good reason

[Wise4myage]

Maybe?