Do you think what I said to my husband uncle was disrespectful or funny?

[Puppystarfish23]

To cut a long story short my husband has a uncle called Allen who has caused a lot of stress and upset towards my husbands family and I see my husbands family as my family too.

He barely visits, doesn't help with caring for his vulnerable elderly parents and special needs brother and expects my mother in law to do everything yet criticises her ways of going about it when she's one of strongest women I know and is doing amazingly. His wife and children are disrespectful. Holds grudges over the most stupid things and he's extremely superficial and tacky but he thinks he's posh.

Even after all this me and my now husband thought we'd be kind and invite him and his family to our wedding in July. Two days after sending out the invitations they sent us a rejection letter saying they were going on holiday to Portugal. They spelt my husbands name wrong and called me Alison when my name is Alice which was written on the invite. It was just them being petty.

Last weekend was my husbands grandparents 70th wedding anniversary. Allen originally was coming but once he found out it was gonna be a big party with all the family and that my husbands grandma is extremely ill and bed bound now he quickly changed his mind.

I've been in relationship with my husband for 5 years and married since July and I hadn't ever met him before last weekend but I'd heard enough and he'd not given a good impression to me.

He park the trashiest car i think I've ever seen a white range drover convertible. There nothing more tragic then a 60 something wearing a shirt from a georgio armani outlet. He said hello to everyone and said to me "who are you?" I said "I'm Alison, how was Portugal?". My partner ran off laughing and my his cousins were trying there best to hold there laugher in. My mother in law said "your not Alison your Alice" and his granddaughter said "when did we go Portugal?" .

He was everything I expected him to be. He was so rude and tried to show off to everyone.

Updates

1 y

I think I earned a lot of respect off my husbands family as it was so unexpected. I come off shy but if you fuck with me or my family I'm not one to mess with. Even his grandparents found it funny and said he had it coming. My husband has been laughing about it for the last two days but I don't think my dad was impressed and said I should have been respectful

[ClaircognizantEmpath]

hey, here some high fives and damn dirty shoulder rubs gurl!!! you were universally gifted to this whole family to be the one to speak your mind and all be it gently call this mother f.. ker on his primitive immature shit... he doesn't attend family events because deep down he knows he's not liked and who knows maybe his actions are purposeful by him to keep it this way... my feelings are when we are grown ups we do not have to keep relations with our blood relations, there really is no truth why one should have to take negative behaviour, why do you think he is this way? childhood? siblings? does any family member stand up to him?

[Puppystarfish23]

I know exactly why and it's pathetic. My husband grandad was a top police officer in the 60s/70s and saw some shit so he was very strict on his children but only out of love and he was the youngest child until Nora my husbands grandma had unplanned pregnancy again at 40 years old.

Phillp was born and he was different from the other children especially in the 60s phillp has down syndrome and he's amazing and loved by everyone. Allen thinks phill took all the attention away from him as a child and he's some kind of victim.

The other reason is because Allen's wife called phillp fat he said "your not exactly thin yourself, what you been eating pillows?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 good on phillp I say. Allen called up and told phillp off over the phone and demanded a apology but phillp just hung up on him.

Then comes my husband. My husband was born around the same time Allen adopted his two daughters. He was really jealous of my husband when he was just a baby... he says it's because when my husband was 2, he and his daughters were at there grandparents and my husbands grandad sat my husband next to him instead of his daughters... seriously.

My husband is 31 now and he still brings this up

[Puppystarfish23]

So the man holds grudges on a 2 year old and down syndrome man... real mature

[ClaircognizantEmpath]

Wowzers!!! lol that made me gasp, laugh, ponder and decide what to say first, and this won... isn't it amazing how some souls are just destined to have to reincarnate here on earth and try again, so he was the youngest, spoiled given the easiest slide, then pushed up the ranks, his strict father most likely enforced upon him more so from then on, his mothers attention was also taken, the adopted daughters compared to your husband, a blood relative, take his distorted view in built since childhood, he will choose to see the victim picture.. you said his daughters were rude too? so he has passed his own trauma onto his children, whereas he could of chosen a path of change and evolved... i would encourage a distancing and cease the ones who make the effort, this stops the repetition of allowing him to reject whilst believing he is a valued family member... he's a twat!!

[Raphaëlle]

Good for you. Sounds to me you can continue as before and have as little contact with this person as possible lol.

[LiamS95]

I would say be thankful he didn't go to your wedding and hope that he doesn't show up at most family functions.

[Jmmmfi4]

Nice