Please read, Narcissistic dad is controlling me, I'm stuck what can I do?

[Anonymous]

For back story.. my dad is old (in his 70s), I'm 27, and i have a 9 month old baby. I just fleed a narcissistic abusive relationship with the BD like 4 months ago.. and have to go to court for that situation he's trying to take full custody of my child. I had to come to my dads because i couldn't get into a shelter (which is temporary anyways) so this was the only place i could go that was safe.

Now get this, it gets EVEN worse. So my dad is a narcissist as well has been my whole life.. im stuck here with him. I have now can't work because he won't watch the baby, and im a single mom with a restraining order on the BD who is currently claiming im mentally challenged and an alcoholic druggie!

I have no income unemployment denied me, im going to loose my car and my dad doesn't care, and now he is doing exactly what the BD (baby daddy) was doing. He's isolating me. It's happening all over again and I feel I am in hell.

He won't allow me to leave the house for more than an hour if i do he verbally abuses me, or he has to come with me in MY car and tell ME how to drive and if i don't listen he berates some more, tonight i was out for a few hours and he made up a story of having plans to get me home. I know he didn't have plans because he's always in bed at 5pm and stays there. He also said nothing of any plans and he's practically disabled so he's not going out to a party.

im still recovering from the horrid abuse from the ex, my mental health is crashing because I've basically been isolated for 3 years, 4 years in January. Im trying to date and can't, trying to make friends and can't. So what do i do? Call the cops on him too? Find a shelter? I have no income so i can't get into any rapid rehousing plus the wait can be months.

I'm trapped with nothing and no money. i can't live life at all.. and i was already feeling from the baby. Im a new mom and I'm doing everything on my own my mom's dead and my sister dipped years ago any suggestions?

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that sounds like a really messed up situation. I can't imagine how stressed and trapped you must feel right now with your abusive ex and now your controlling dad. That's a lot to deal with as a new mom.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's not fair at all that you're stuck in this cycle of abuse and isolation. You deserve so much better.

The first thing I would say is don't be afraid to call the cops on your dad if he's physically or verbally abusive. You have a right to feel safe, even in your own home. Document everything he does so you have evidence.

You could also look into any local domestic violence support services or women's shelters in your area. Even if they can't immediately get you housing, they may be able to provide other resources and help navigating this. Don't be afraid to reach out - you shouldn't have to go through this alone.

In the meantime, try to find little ways to take care of yourself and your mental health, even if it's just going for a short walk by yourself when you can. And remember, this isn't your fault. You're doing the best you can in a really crappy situation.

I know it seems hopeless right now, but please don't give up. There are people and organizations out there that want to help. Just take it one day at a time, and know that you've got this. You're stronger than you know. Sending you all the positive vibes, girl. Hang in there.

[Asker]

Thanks so much very helpful!

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re very welcome luv. I’m happy you found it helpful

[petitedollbabee]

If your BD was abusive, you could reach out to a DV shelter and stay there for a while with your baby while you figure things out? Im not sure what else is available to you in your country. In my country, just for even having a child, you get $200 per week from the government to help with child costs, and you also get like 20 free daycare hours per week. And you can also get beneficiary income from the government if you’re unemployed and a single mom. So things are different in each country.


Sorry you're going through this. I have a 7 month old myself, so I understand just how scary it is being a new mom. I can’t imagine how much harder everything must be for you being a single mom and having a father like yours ontop of that.

[Asker]

I need to move to your country that can't be america.. america is disgusting lol