What would you do. co parent with narcissist?

[Anonymous]

So I have a parenting plan with a narcissist yes he’s been diagnosed with narcissism. we both live in different states and I have to pay half his plane ticket and he pays less child support than what he’s supposed to due to helping with travel costs. I’ve asked my lawyer plenty of times and he’s confirmed it’s it’s just half the plane ticket and it says why he pays less in child support in the paperwork.. however my ex does not think this. We have to use a special parenting app to communicate only. Due to past abuse that way it can be documented if the courts need it. Well a day or 2 after the visit I get a message that looks like this

* this is just an example not actual message

Travel Expenses

Gas: to/ from airport exit 250 (names) car
$34.50 (35 miles)

Air port parking:
Line 78 parking spot 2
($54.26)

Air ticket to/from location (names ticket)
$215.65

Rental car: Jeep Wrangler hybrid
($564.67)

Gas for rental car: Jeep Wrangler Hybrid
($101.00) full tank pick up/ drop off (535 miles driven)

There is more but you get the picture..

So at the very end of the messages I always get “total balance $1500”

I’ll pay my portion like it says in our parenting plan. And the next messages come.. “$260 payed via venmo out of outstanding balance when will you be making your payment”
I ignore it I only communicate if it’s about our child, then it’s always a week later, the abusive messages comes. “This is my fault” “you ruined my life” “do I need to take your child support away” “you can’t read a document right” “I’m gonna watch you like a hawk for 18 years” it goes on and on and on and on or he tries and changes the parenting plan. I just ignore him but this have been going on for 2 years and it’s getting worse. I’m tired of the abuse messages and him acting like a bank collector. What would some of y’all do? Please no rude comments just want some advice.

[Anonymous]

My ex is narcastic and possibly sociopathic. I find the best thing to do is grey rock her. Show no emotion. Be fair but don't allow yourself to be manipulated or bullying. You always have to manage them, let them think they've won.

Currently my ex is trying to stop me attending my son's first Holy communion even though it's on my designated court appointed day, sending threatening solicitor letters. But this is just the latest in a long line of bullshit. She's mad at me for daring to dump her after I found out she had been cheating on me for a year after she gave me an std even though she was probably leaving me for the other guy anyway. Mad at me for calling social services after she assaulted our son in front of me, social services landed at her door, she admitted everything and had to live with her parents with no unsupervised contact with our son. Mad that after social services had vetted her new man at a meeting I threw a pile of documentation regarding his past criminal record (arson), the sex crime that happened in his house ( child was raped in his care while he watched tv), (child tried to commit suicide in his care after he bullied her into not going to the cops and called her a slut), grooming underage girls on fbook, sleazy offensive messages on fbook, harassing vulnerable women online, warning he got hanging around outside of schools in his car to pick up underage girls, written warning he got making unsolicited sexual comments to staff and pupils at school where he is a cleaner, videoing women he has sex with secretly on and on. Anyway social services and the court said he can't be left alone with my son though if I had my way he'd never be within a mile of my son. She mad that her parents and family know all about all this and I've tainted her new relationship in their eyes. She mad at the court giving my joint 3/7 custody whereas shd was pushing for every other weekend. She's mad at the whole town finding out, I won't lie to anyone about it and she likes to be well thought of.

[Guy13]

Give all information to attorney over a month and refrain from responding. It is important to see a developing habit and it is important gto have a "stop" and reference to maintaining standards in initial Plan or court ordered document. Get on a Plan or Strategy with attorney.

[Anonymous]

I’d just keep doing what you’re doing - ignore anything that’s not directly related to the child and only communicate through the app. If the messages crosses the line to threats or abuse I’d contact the police.

[molonski2]

Is there any value at all in his co -parenting? I mean , with your child? Positives?

As he sounds like a very difficult person to deal with Id say , just stay calm , keep everything on the communication app , if he continues to threaten he will loose his coparenting rights , I'm not sure he's presenting any positive input at all.

[boggboss]

Not really much u can do if u have shown your lawyer this behaviour already unless it becomes threatening to the point u can contact the police u are already doing what u can

[Alex8736]

for starters do you live in the US?