Should I ask for more child support?

[Anonymous]

*Before people bitch about child support I’m not here for that it’s just a general question*

I co-parent with an extreme narcissist, my husband has my ex and I’s child on his health insurance. Should I ask my ex to help cover some of our child’s medical bills. I understand he’s gonna flip out on me and go off. But does that seem reasonable?

[Oliverlogan263]

That's a tough situation baby. On the one hand, it does seem reasonable for the biological dad to help chip in on medical costs since the kid is partly his responsibility. But dealing with a narcissist makes everything harder.

A few thoughts - is the amount you're looking for worth dealing with his inevitable bullshit blowup? Dudes like that always find a way to make you feel bad no matter what.

See if there's a compromise, like asking for a set monthly amount instead of one big lump sum so it's not as "in your face." Frame it as being for your kid and his well-being rather than to antagonize your ex.

Definitely get your husband on board too for support. A united front helps level the playing field with a drama king. Maybe try talking to your ex through a lawyer if needed to establish some boundaries for communication.

Ultimately you gotta weigh your mental health versus any money. Not worth it if he's gonna torment you for months. Your kid sees/feels that energy too. Think long-game - doing right by your son is what matters most in the end.

[Anonymous]

Before you met your current husband who was taking care of the child medically as far as insurance? Would asking for more financial support be worth the issues you may face in dealing w him?

[Anonymous]

i'm confused on how that would work since it seems like your husband is supporting your child in that way. so i'm not sure if you legally can ask your ex? should ask a lawyer.

[worldscolide]

Honestly if he is as bad as you say he is, he is best left alone. Its not an unreasonable request to a reasonable person. Narcissist simply are not capable of being reasonable. It was very hard for me to hold back the (oh god she is asking for more).. I do not support child support, i support equal shared parenting and custody.. But In his case he is best kept at arms length.. I am suggesting you dont ask him, but only for your own sanity, not because its the right thing to do.

[Asker]

That’s where I’m on the fence. I currently have an court ordered parenting plan with him due to the abuse. We cannot talk to each-other unless it’s on a monitored app by the court. But even with that he still try’s to pull stunts. The only way I could go with this is maybe a petition

[worldscolide]

Yeah i dunno. i wish i had better advice for you

[inhua]

if it's not his biological child, he shouldn't have to pay child support.

[Asker]

No it’s his kid the step dad ( my husband) has him on his health insurance

[slatyb]

You'll have to petition the court.

[BigDog1989]

You have every right to, he's his kid