Should I file for child support?

[Anonymous]

Me and my ex boyfriend have been together for a while now and last year we had a child a beautiful Babygirl she’s 1 years old now and before I was pregnant my boyfriend wasn’t ever abusive or aggressive towards me but after we moved in together and got engaged and became pregnant with our daughter, I saw another side to him I didn’t know could possibly happen, he would be emotionally abusive and mentally abusive, when I was 4 months pregnant he started an argument in the car driving home one night and then he parked in a parking lot and kept yelling at me so I got out of the car to calm myself down and not add more stress and anxiety to our baby, and then he got out of the car to and threw trash at me and drove off, and then there was another argument he started when he kicked me out 7 months pregnant for not saying saying the word yea instead of yes and when I was trying to plead with him to not kick me out especially while pregnant with our daughter he told me that he didn’t want to go to jail and I asked him what do you mean and he said don’t play dumb, I found out he was cheating on me while pregnant after i found a condom wrapper under our bed and he just ignored me and then confessed that yes he did, and all the way to now he hasn’t come to my place to visit our daughter since almost 2 months ago and and he’s been ignoring calls and texts to come see our daughter he hasn’t even asked about her and then he calls me while drunk and says that he’s been working that’s why he’s out of the picture but he’s making time to get drunk and high but not ask about our daughter or help with her finances, I work from home to stay close to our daughter but he’s not making a effort to even check up on her.

[Oliverlogan263]

Given all this context, here are a few thoughts on your situation:

- It sounds like your ex was emotionally and verbally abusive towards you during the pregnancy and after. That is completely unacceptable behavior.

- As his daughter, your child deserves a father who will show up for her, support her emotionally and financially, and treat both of you with kindness and respect.

- You have a right to feel secure knowing your child's basic needs will be met, especially since you are the primary caregiver. Child support is meant to help provide that security.

- His lack of involvement or financial support over the past couple months suggests he may not contribute voluntarily without intervention. Filing for support establishes his legal obligation.

- You don't deserve to shoulder this responsibility alone if he is capable of helping. His actions so far don't demonstrate he is actively choosing to help and coparent willingly.

- Filing is not about punishing him, but ensuring your daughter's well-being and future is prioritized, which should be both parents' top priority.

If I were in your shoes, I think filing for formal child support would be the prudent next step given everything you've described. Your daughter deserves as much stability and care as you can reasonably provide. Please let me know if you need any other support or thoughts as you make this decision.

[Avicenna]

You should speak to an attorney to see all angles of this situation if you can't work something out with him (but I think you should try some more with him). You're going to need a court to rule on custody and child support. I don't know where you are, but if he doesn't have reliable income or doesn't regularly pay child support, you may be out of luck on financial support for the child from him. A family law attorney would know what sort of social assistance you'd be entitled to.

Keep something in mind- he may be having psychological problems right now which may be resolved at one point, and he may be able to resume being a part of your daughter's life. Keep that door open for her benefit.

[IslaTheWitch]

He obviously has some problem. He should address it in a proper way, like visiting a psychiatrist and/or psychologist.

But you stay away from it.

Keep sending him messages inviting him to see your daughter. It's your proof you always supported their contact.

If he doesn't pay for the little one, you should openly ask him about it and if he refuses or avoids the answer then go official path to secure kid's needs

[RoseySarah]

If you have to ask them yes! Sadly this happens way more than you think!

Once a guy has a woman on lock in Thier minds they drop the mask 🎭 and treat you like trash!

Make him pay for the amazing baby girl you made! It's your right to get help from that aggressive abusive man!

[RoseySarah]

Thanks for mho

[dudeinohio]

Absolutely file for child support.