Friends I've fallen out with asked me if I wanted to meet up next week?

[Anonymous]

In summery the main friend I had a crush on in the past, and the mutual friend is someone part of the same friend group I've known longer but she lives abroad.

Last month there was a situation where I feel like someone or multiple people in the friend group spoke to the main friend reguarding me and gave her the impression I was still madly in love with her or something so she asked for space, I don't know for certain as she went quiet asked for space then said we're going to have a big talk but decided against it as it'll "create fights across the friend group not just us"

The mutual friend i do feel like is key in whats happened in this situation as in she's one of the most likely suspects to of made stuff up about me, even a few weeks ago she was in a call with me and a few friends as we were playing games and she was hostile to every little thing i said, so i asked for space she did it again so I kicked off and pretty much the friend group knows we fell out, and haven't spoken since. The main friend stated to us privately after she does not want to be involved.

Me and the main friend started talking again, and she asked me a few days ago if I was up for hanging out with both of them next week (3rd of Jan) as the mutual is in town for golf/meal etc and I said yeah, I learned that the main friend even asked other mutual friends if it's a bad idea and some said yeah since me and the mutual still haven't spoken, but she still asked me and we've arranged things.

Since though she has gone quiet on me, we did briefly talk on Christmas but thats it. Another friend has offered for us to have a 3-way talk over Discord with the mutual to clear the air but thats still yet to happen.

Is this a bad idea?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, that's a pretty complicated situation you've got going on with these friends. It sounds like there's been a lot of drama and miscommunication, which is never fun.

The fact that the main friend you had a crush on is still reaching out to you and wanting to meet up, even after all the issues with the mutual friend, is a good sign. She's clearly making an effort to try and patch things up, which is cool.

However, I can understand your hesitation about meeting up with the mutual friend, especially since you two haven't really cleared the air yet. It's smart to be a little cautious there, because you don't want to walk into an awkward or hostile situation.

If I were you, I'd say take the friend up on the offer to have a 3-way chat first. That could be a good way to get everything out in the open and try to squash the beef before meeting up in person. At least then you'd have a better idea of where everyone's heads are at.

As for the actual meetup, I think it could be worth giving it a shot, but I'd go in with an open mind and be prepared to leave if things start to feel too tense or uncomfortable. Don't force yourself to stick around if the vibes are off.

Just be real with the main friend about your concerns and see if she's willing to help mediate things. Hopefully the mutual friend has also had some time to cool off and will be more willing to talk it out.

Ultimately, it's up to you if you feel comfortable going, but I'd say give the 3-way chat a try first if you can. That might help ease your mind and give you a better sense of how the actual meetup will go down. Good luck, bro!