Even with advacement in education, being older and modern parenting, will I still make mistakes?

[Vesuvius87]

As a married woman looking forward to meeting and holding our baby (due date is set for June 8th), I would like to think there would be much less mistakes done than in the older generations, given than I'm 37 years old and will be 38 when giving birth for the first time.

For instance, I believe in early social activities, early stimulation (ex: music activities, painting, playdough, games with puppets, swimming in the pool, etc) as it helps out their developing brains and makes learning fun and easier.

No corporal punishment used: I believe you can still be the parent (and not the child's friend) and discipline without hitting. It's very easy to hit them with a household object in order for them to obey you. Anyone can do that. That's not a challenge. The real challenge is teaching your child without hitting. I got spanked by my father as a little kid and disagree with that method. I'll never thank him for spanking me. I actually thanked my mom for never spanking me.

No baptism nor religion forced on them. Well we're both atheists but open-minded to other people's beliefs as long as it's not forced. If the child later on wants to be religious and be baptized when they're much older and can decide for themselves, that's fine. I just don't think it's right to force religious traditions on a baby, whom obviously can't decide for themselves.

Teach them that having a degree doesn't make you smart. My father focused too much on my school grades but never got me involved in social activities. Getting good grades and passing your exams isn't really a talent. It's just memorizing the subject. In the end, I would only get good grades to impress my parents and family but not really to actually apply what I've learned. I would only study for exams but then forget everything. That's how mediocre professionals are like.

Yet, with all the advancement in education, modern parenting and the fact that I'm older than usual for a first time mother, will I still make mistakes?

Updates

1 y

I have many great ideas and would like to think I'm on the more successful track; definitely a lot better than my upbringing and the other older generation.

[slatyb]

Congratulations. You will make mistakes. But if you treat your child like an independent person who just doesn't know much, and keep your expectations appropriate to their age, you will do fine. I had one goal for my child -- for them to be a happy adult.

[Vesuvius87]

Indeed. They deserve to be treated as little independent people that are naturally curious, not animals you can hit them if they make mistakes.

[slatyb]

Hitting doesn't work well with children or animals.

[Vesuvius87]

Hopefully that awful practice one day gets banned. The good thing is that it's slowly dying and more parents and pet owners are into actually teaching and being dynamic about it.
I also don't understand why someone would own a pet to abuse it. It doesn't make sense. Why spent effort, money and time if you're not going to have patience?

[Fireguy17]

yeppers, and your kids will rise their kids and try to fix all of the things they screwed up, and their kids will try to do the same thing, and most kids tend to grow up and turn out pretty well despite their parent's best efforts.

[Vesuvius87]

Hopefully my child has fewer things to complain about, much less than me.

[Fireguy17]

I like your thinking but sadly that will probably not happen.
Your job is to prepare them to be an adult, so there will be times you will have to say no, be a parent not their best friend.
The big people are in charge.
They need to know that no means no and all of that other not so fun stuff.
If don't teach them all of the important stuff you will be doing them a great dis-service for later in life.
Have you noticed how all of those we don't keep score, everyone gets a trophy, no one loses kids are doing?
Many/some are having a hell of a time functioning in real life where they actually do keep score, there is only 1 winner, you don't always get their way or what you want, no one says no to me, all of that happy crap.

[Vesuvius87]

Well yes I would be in charge but my style is different than the older ''old-school'' generation. No can be obtained without forcing them into submission. For instance if they are showing a tantrum because I'm won't buy a toy at that moment, my answer will remind at no. They can scream all they want to and the natural consequence is they aren't getting any extra priviledge as that has to be earned.

[Vesuvius87]

You can still be the parent (not their friend) without forcing them into submission.

[Fireguy17]

Very true.
they also need to know right from wrong, the value of a dollar, a good days work, to be a good winner you have to be a good looser, treating others with respect, it's ok to disagree with someone, but that does not mean the other person has to change, all of the important life skills they will need to know and understand.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, but if you learn from mistakes you will always improve, regardless of what you are doing.

[Vesuvius87]

Indeed. I know I'm not perfect either. The important thing is realizing when it's wrong and working on improving, not being stubborn like some parents who keep relying on something that isn't working and then even when it didn't work, keep claiming it was a good method.

[NathanDavis]

Yes.

how do we go about them... is what matters the most

[Vesuvius87]

yeah I'm looking forward to continue learning

[MasterKS]

Its individual way to grow up, what way you choose is your choice. although if you born a male treat him with smartness, raising other gender is tough.

[Vesuvius87]

Smartness, having a natural talent and good social skills would be an even greater combination.

[Anonymous]

if i ever have a kid i am pulling a King Richard on them, idgaf

[JohnK123]

U will be a great mom

[Vesuvius87]

Thank you

[Jennz6]

@JohnK123 me too right?

[Jennz6]

Yes probably

[Vesuvius87]

I'll look into improvements if I made mistakes on the way.

[Jennz6]

@Vesuvius87 yes research it more

[Vesuvius87]

Thank you. Will do.