Do you believe that having a hard childhood excuses poor decisions that an adult makes?

[Zack-Bann]

We all have our own demons, some worse than others.
And one can sympathize with those who had it even harder.

But as an adult you make your own decisions and life with the consequences.

Do you think once could be forgiven for making bad personal decisions if their reasons for doing it has to do with unhealed childhood trauma?

[ProbablyClueless]

Absolutely not. I firmly believe that we need to collectively agree as a society on an age/point of life where/when mommy and daddy stop being the reason you act the way you do.

For me, that age happened at like 22 or 23. And I really got my emotional garbage largely cleaned up by 26 or 27.

I will be the first to acknowledge that I am an unusually self sufficient, head strong and productive person. I wouldn't feel comfortable placing my personal standards of behavior onto anyone else. Having your act together by 22 is not "normal" by any stretch of the imagination.

I'd say that you really ought to have your act together by 27 though.

[Zack-Bann]

Reading this on the eve of my 27th birthday I can’t agree more.

I too left home at 22 and had to fend for myself learning what meant to be an independent adult

And yes, my childhood, the good and the bad doesn’t justify my behavior today. So I make it a point to behave in a way that would make my future self proud as well as those around me

[ProbablyClueless]

Exactly, and happy (soon to be) birthday! It's interesting that that has been your experience as well. 27 just seems like it would be more than enough time for most people to get things figured out.

[NathanDavis]

it is NOT an excuse

it can be one of many factors involved and it can be a big reason why among few other reasons, but not an excuse

and this is why we should work on our issues, and do help those near us, with their issues

[thegreenyogi]

I think we all have our traumas or bad experiences we have gone through. And just like we make decisions to make bad or good decision we also make a choice as to whether to work or not to work on our issues. So I don't really think poor decisions can be excused or justified. This said traumas affect people differently and maybe in that case making poor decisions is really out of their control and it's not really a matter of forgiving them for mistakes made or not. Who are we to expect the best from said people if they're not capable of making good decisions.

[thegreenyogi]

Thank you!

[MemeSupreme]

no it just makes it more understandable

i get x, y, and z of why someone did something but it doesn't mean they should get a slap on the wrist if they fucked up. accountability still exists

[LazerBean]

Sometimes it's understandable why someone would have a hard time making right decisions. But ultimately, it is up to each adult what decision they are going to make. Some choices are inexcusable, no matter how badly someone was raised

[Sunrising]

There are no excuses for adult bad behaviour.

[katiesmuff]

No I think you have to be accountable for your actions as an adult.

[exitseven]

I have been using this dodge for a long time. So Far So good.

[paledreams]

Not in the slightest lol - they often become cruel adults and very selfish ones 👀🥺

[paledreams]

Thankfully most end in up jails

[jahaims]

No, I had a terrible childhood. Physically and mentally abused. I'm a mature healthy adult with a family. Never been in trouble with the law etc.

[douride2]

No that is simply a poor excuse.

[DrPepper12]

Excuses? No
Mitigates? Yes