Do you believe a lot of people's problems stems from parents & childhood?

[Nazgol]

I do. Mine for example were never really fully involved and present in my life, I sometimes even feel like a child too many (have 2 siblings). As a young adult I had issues such as anxiety and social anxiety, things like that. Also with a learning disability all throughout my schooling. As a result I'm now resentful towards my parents, for not being involved enough like they should've from early life. I lived with them almost my whole life until a few years ago. I think the most priority was always given to my siblings, especially brother (the oldest). Even though my dad kind of tried, it was a ridiculous extent.

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I also feel as though my success and future career/life never mattered to them

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I was also sheltered and overprotective too much, e. g. never went to parties/clubs when I was younger and couldn't even come back past a certain hour without getting criticism from parents

[smashleyy]

Yes. Our childhood seems like such a small insignificant portion of our lives but it goes on to affect the rest because that’s when our emotional intelligence develops which is why its crucial to heal your past if you didn’t have a good one (most people didn’t rather they are aware or not). Time by itself doesn’t heal anything, the pain just isn’t at the forefront of your mind anymore but it continues to impact your subconscious and how you view yourself, others, the world. Kids soak up everything especially when it comes to the people they grow up around. It’s not a coincidence that women who witnessed their moms being used as a punching bag by a spouse as children grow up to over stay their welcome in abusive relationships. The abuse doesn’t have to look the exact same and It’s not cause she wants to be abused but because she subconsciously learned at a young age that putting up with abusive behaviour is okay. It’s not a coincidence (and I don’t think it’s genetics either) that people who watched their parents struggle with addictions are more likely to follow that path. It’s learned behaviour, If a parent can’t self regulate their emotions and use a substance to relieve stress and a child grows up watching that it subconsciously teaches them to do the same.
Being raised by emotionally immature parents is probably the most damaging thing.
I’ll share a little story of one of the first realizations I had of childhood baggage/trauma showing up in my adult life. I was in a relationship and any time we’d get into a argument I would shut down. Wasn’t cause I wanted to be toxic and give silent treatment but because I physically could not talk it out. The thought of voicing my opinion would cause me to lose my words and form a lump in my throat and I knew if I spoke I’d cry (also didn’t want to cry every time we’d get into a disagreement cause I didn’t want to come off as manipulative). One specific time we were arguing and I really wanted to clear the air in that moment and I physically couldn’t I asked myself why I wasn’t able to express my emotions and it dawned on me that it was never something I had to do cause I grew up not being allowed to. My emotionally immature parent couldn’t tell the difference between talking back and expressing myself to them so I was punished or silenced for both so at a very early age I shut down and started keeping everything bottled up to myself and because I was conditioned to do that my entire life it was causing problems in adulthood.

[smashleyy]

It’s important to acknowledge and grieve your childhood but don’t allow yourself to get stuck in it or stay in a victim mentality/resentment phase cause that too doesn’t do you no good. Acknowledge, grieve, heal, forgive, let go

[midnightmoon05]

Very smart to be only 19.

[midnightmoon05]

Surely. I work with kids…. apples don’t fall far.

my father was not so healthy in the sense that he had anger issues…so we just stayed away as much as possible…none of us 4 siblings became like him. 😊… so we have to learn to want to be who we want.
mom was very affectionate towards me and always very caring. We didn’t have much…but we were together and had our basic needs met and that I’m so grateful for.

I'm so glad I didn’t do the clubs stuff…My friends always invested me…I went a few times…it was a waste.

just look at life and see what works for you.
You can’t change the past…we are adults and we have to take some responsibilities…

I don’t blame my parents for anything but be grateful they gave me a home, food and life so now I can make it better for my kids!

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Unless its something excessive like mental and physical abuse then no.

People most problems come from they making stupid decisions in their lives.

We all going to have problems, moaning and bitching about it isn't going to help.

I use my problems to my advantage, to learn and grow better.

[BungusHighFivePizza]

Probably but it doesn't help to fix it to look at things too much this way. I can blame all my misbehaviors on my drinking which might even be genetic given that my mother and father were alcoholics, but what I need to really do is stop or at least cut down on the drinking.

[Anonymous]

I do have this belief as well and have a similar story to yours. But it wasn't until college I was able to kind of get out of my shell and meet new people and grow as a person. While I still have social anxiety, I think I'm better than I was in middle school and high school. I do sort of blame my sheltered upbringing for how I turned out and wish that things could have been different.

[Sevenpointfive]

not for me. i had other problems that were more concerning. my parents left me alone for the most part

[midnightmoon05]

Same! I love it! I was free

[Sevenpointfive]

@midnightmoon05 i think that made me a better person tbh. cheers!

[Guardian45]

Yes, to a degree you can blame your parents, but at a certain point, you have to take things into your own hands and own your own destiny! People do this ALL THE TIME, despite their beginnings!

[Jennz6]

Childhood trauma 🚢💯

[Cubus]

You have learning disability?

[Nazgol]

Supposedly

[Agape93]

Yeap.