Were there ever people that considered you a friend but you didn't consider them a friend?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I liked them but didn't feel a connection (more of an acquaintance)

Yes, because I didn't like them really at all, if I did the feeling would be mutual

Yes, but I spent time with them because I felt sorry for them

No

[abbyjgriffin98]

Yes. Sort of. At least, I've had several fake friends. This is going to be long so bear with me. There is this girl I know at work. She started out really sweet to me and was really trying to be my friend. She would always come to me to vent about her situationships. I would give her advice, but she wouldn't take it. Eventually, I asked for her phone number to stay in contact with her. She asked for mine, because she didn't like to give her phone number out. She never contacted me. Later on, I went on a family leave to help take care of my grandmother who was on hospice. After she passed away, we had her funeral and I returned to work. I ran into this "friend" and she asked me where I was and said she thought I quit. I told her I was on leave for about a month. Instead of asking me why I was gone like a normal friend would, she just started talking about her situationships. That's when I stopped considering her a friend. After that, she kept being somewhat nice to me, but I started noticing all our conversations were one-sided. One day, we ran into eachother and she started talking to me about herself. After a few minutes, she complimented my hair and asked me how I did my hair. I started explaining to her how I did my hair because she asked and she cut me off in 5 seconds and said, "Well, I have to get going. I'm on my break. I only have, like, 15 more minutes." Then she left. A few weeks later, she asked me who my new boyfriend was. I asked her, "What boyfriend?" She said, "The guy you're always talking to." Then she went on to explain one of my coworkers who was almost 40 and has been married for 10 years. Sometimes we would talk to each other because we were coworkers in the same department. I guess she saw us and assumed we were dating. I told her I wasn't dating him and she cut me off and said, "But isn't that weird, because he's been married for, like, 10 years." Then she left. Moral of the story, fake friends suck.

[PeachyPie93]

I had one that I pitied in elementary school no one liked her.. So I would talk to her and hangout but she was always rude, arrogant and would say mean shit to me.. So after trying to like her for years after her saying yet another rude thing to me I finally told her in grade 7 I don't want to be her friend and she was like "I don't care I never liked you anyways" lol fucking bitch.
Then in grade 9 I started school and my cousins hot friend was in my class I didn't recognize him but he knew me instantly and started talking to me, then this girl latched on to me and wanted me to be her friend. She was a dork but I thought why not since I don't really know anyone.. As time went on I realized she didn't really like me and was jealous that I was friends with hot guys and she was using me for that. She always was trying to put me down and go after the guys I liked. So I ditched her in grade 10. Now if I don't genuinely like someone I won't befriend them cuz fuck that lol.

[Asker]

You said she was a dork, what's wrong with that haha?

[PeachyPie93]

If you hangout with dorks it makes you a dork by association, plus she was annoying lol.

[BeeNee]

I relate to this so hard. Sometimes there is an actual reason why no one is hanging out with "that one kid.' Even as adults, I had a staffer whom no one liked because she was the biggest debbie downer you will ever meet in life, but I was like, come on guys, let's try to be friends as everyone else was. She got pregnant, and normally, my staff always threw a big party for someone's birthday/baby shower, whatever, but ZERO people signed up to bring anything or show up. I begged for everyone to show up "because her future child was innocent." They eventually did, but upon the surprise, she acted like she was so annoyed even with the gifts they'd brought for her. Even the company I worked for wanted to fire her because of her attitude, but I kindly asked them not to because she eventually had the baby and I didn't want her to be without a job. Well, cut to, I'm leaving the company, and like "your friend," this girl tells my now former co-worker that she was glad I was gone because I was always "such a total bitch." Amazing, right! You try and be a good person, but some people are just absolutely awful and good riddance.

[Purpleronnie]

Truth is , beyond approximately 12 years old I don’t know as that was the last time that I remember conversation around who was friends with whom.


From my perspective , In adult life I think you generally know instantly who is “trying” to be friends with you compared with someone who is looking for or is open to friendship. As In reverse , you will be more open with people who you are open to friendship with or you will tend to treat them as a friend even though they may not be in the hope that they will. It’s commonly seen as the easiest way to make friends is to treat people as such until such times as they prove themselves worthy of your friendship.


In my experience , like me , adult people or guys at least , regard each other in the sense of who they are to each other ? without talking in terms of friendship.


So for a person to believe they are friends with me when they are not , they must have some weird misconception of what a friend is … a friend is not the person you spoke to on the subway for 5 mins , that’s just a random conversation with a stranger. Friends “know” they are FRIENDS !

[Manuelwe]

I have a few of those. But the last was a real shock
I would go to her house for a good chat and dinner. But she had a secret that ended it.
Well, I had trouble with a gang of child molesters and drug ring. I had them arrested but the law has failed me.
So I would spend with her. Yo save time.
I found out she was one of the founder members of the gang.
So I had to report what I found out to the law.

[Anonymous]

Yes, in high school I had a tight knit group of friends that had been my friends since our freshman year. Our school was super strict and extremely hard academically, so the few times we were allowed to actually have fun, relax, not wear a uniform, or be in a classroom, were like gold. On one such event day, this girl in our class just invited herself to where my group of friends was hanging out.

We had brought food for ourselves and were just laughing and relaxing, and boom, there she was. She started sitting with us and eating our food. I whispered to my friend group, "did you guys invite her?" No one said yes. We just kind of left and she followed us, the whole entire day. When we took group pictures, she slid in like she was one of our best friends. It. Was. Incredibly. Weird.

This trend continued where we'd have an event day, and she would just show up in our group as if she belonged. She talked A LOT and had a way of taking over things. Like she started telling us what to do and where to meet her. This behavior was super creepy because none of us were actual friends with her. We didn't have the heart to tell her anything because it was clear she probably desperately wanted friends and couldn't get them any other way, I suppose, but it got to be way too much towards the end of the year with her trying to take over our friend group, so we found other places to hang out where she couldn't come.

[DishLady]

Yeah, sometimes there's a person who I helped out with something, so they see me as their bestie (and sometimes they honestly don't have another person to turn to). Are they someone *I* would also turn to? No, not necessarily. Sometimes it's just a random act of kindness and the person remembers it. Would I turn the person away at a party or something? No, of course not. I'm of course friendly with them, just not confiding in or depending on them, you know?

Sometimes there's also the case of someone who is new to a group -- the sibling of someone else in the group -- and dynamics are a little thrown off or they expect you to trust them the way you trust your actual long-time friend, but you don't... because they haven't earned that rapport with you. Over time (and shared experiences) that sometimes changes, but sometimes not.

[dustybiker2]

You get people from time to time who just want to suck off you and won't take kind hints.
One example.. I've trained legitimate working dogs most of my life. One way of putting in hard public training in heavy distractions for young dogs are pet stores. I'd stop in almost daily to loop this one store and keep my dogs in training at the time sharp.
One of the pet trainers in this location lost her marbles a bit.
She started asking about their working gear. One day I walked in and she had her own dog with a cape on with a patch stating "hiking dog".
It came across a little insane...

Friendships are give and take. It's a balance of proving dependability. If someone is envious of you they tend not to contribute but just suck.

[Joshydavid25]

Yeah, a girl I briefly dated recently.. She wanted to be friends, and considered me a friend after breaking it off, but I already let her know that I didn't wannabe friends... Multiple times..

[Asker]

Just wasn't interested in being friends with her after the breakup, or was it something personal?

[Joshydavid25]

Yeah, no strictly off the fact that we dated.. I started to develop feelings, and it was just snatched away so suddenly, so it was best if we didn't try and force a friendship.. IMHO..

[strateguy632]

Yes! A few people surprised me they thought that, despite we barely spent time together.

[KostasKouvalis]

Yes, but usually it's me who considers someone a friend, but they don't consider me one

[Asker]

Any idea why?

[Elena85]

When they show their true colors. Like when they see cheating like it is no big deal that’s where I have a problem.

[Deserter2]

Yes, people I'm not that interested in are more pushy