Why does my autistic sister keep pushing people away?

[Anonymous]

My sister is a bit of a loner. She is always in her room on her computer or drawing. She has good friends that ALWAYS wants to hang out with her, but she always makes excuses to not hang with her friends. She loves her friends and she’s been going to her best friends house EVERY WEEKEND. They love having her over which is good for her because she needs to get out of the house more and be around people. Plus since mom died, it’s been hard for us but she’s been sulking in her room crying so her best friend had a plan to have her come over every weekend to keep her busy. Our dad nagged at her that she needs to be around people and get out of the house. She always covers her ears. Dad is frustrated with her. She has so much potential, she’s smart, she is very curious but she doesn’t want to do anything or make something of herself. Dad got on her for being lazy and she needs to start looking for a job again. She isn’t going to school or working. She used to have a job but she got let go because of some circumstances. She usually stays at her best friends house until Monday or Tuesdays since she doesn’t work right now.
She made an excuse to not go over to her friends house again this weekend. Dad and I work and plus I’m with my boyfriend for most weekends and dad is with his girlfriend most of his weekends but not always. What does she do, stay in the HOUSE ALONE.
She’s 24. Her besties’ mom does respite and her best friend goes to a day program according to her.
I even invite her to go to the mall, the club or things she doesn’t normally do but she needs to get out of her comfort zone and be uncomfortable once in a while. I tell her do NOT push her best friend away and she really loves her! She’s pushed her former friends (special needs friends) away. Dad even purposely blocked her from going into her room so she can talk to her now best friend. Good job dad!
What is wrong with my sister?

Updates

1 y

She doesn’t like too many people and leaving her comfort zone. She needs to get over it. Autistic people need to get over sensory issues.

[Astarlessnightsky]

Thats how she is.

Why can't you let her do what she likes?

Autistic people, or people in general, don't need to follow some rules other people made up.

Some people need quiet time alone, some people need to hang out in groups of 20 or more, some people like loud and crowded places, other people see those as hell.

[Asker]

I understand we all need time to ourselves but being my ourselves isn’t good enough. Plus she needs to start dating again. I know her guy friend really likes her and has asked her our numouous times but she keeps rejecting him and shutting in down. He’s still chasing her after all these years. He’s liked her since they were nice. She has a boyfriend senior year, but he cheated on her the summer after they graduated.

[alice55]

She's autistic, it's hard to know what is in their head, my niece is on the autism spectrum (but a very light one) and sometime she threw horrible fit like she kicked her bed during 45 min against the wall with no reasons she only calmed down when her mother took her in her bed. (she's very close to her mother and no so much her father).

Autist are in their head it's hard to understand their logic, the only things we can do is be tolerant and forgiving towards them.

[Asker]

We’ll they need to get out of their heads and wake up to the real world! She doesn’t understand that her knew friends LOVE HER! She doesn’t see it! They want her to come over every weekend

[alice55]

But they can't they're sick, their head does not work the same ways ours does. Autism mean their brain work differently, she's not gonna magically understand her friend love her. I know it's boring and frustrating and it sound like they fake it and are overdramatic a lot but there's seriously nothing that can be done

[Asker]

Autistic people are NOT sick! She better learn to understand because there will be some people that will love her! What if she has a boyfriend one day. She’s just like every other person.

[alice55]

Go talk to a psy before saying such things. Their brain work differently theyre not like us they're different

[Asker]

Okay yeah her brain is different from us but it doesn’t mean she can’t learn things. She’s not any different and my parents raised her the same way they raised my brothers and I but they’re more protective of her than us. My family is too protective of her but not overly protective. Not it be blunt but she is very naive about life problems and whatever. She is smart academically but so naive and slow about people and life. She isn’t dumb but yeah. She hate’s being treated like a child and people dismissing her opinions and her thoughts because she’s autistic and think she can’t understand life problems because she’s naive and clueless.

[alice55]

Well she actually can't you said it yourself she's naive, your parents are most likely over protective because an autist who have a crise is really long and annoying to deal with.
And that's their problem not your anyway they're the one talking care of her not you

[Asker]

She is annoying! I don’t want to sound blunt, but that’s why she doesn’t have friends. Her friendship doesn’t last because she’s a pain in the ass, annoying, always jumps into conversations and tries to take over. That’s annoying abs my parents are working with her about that. They did in the past and she was fine with it but since she started to go to college and is more advanced than her special needs peers, she starts to get cocky and have a really big ego. Don’t get me wrong. She’s a very sweet girl, but her ego needs to be crushed.

[jahaims]

If you want to be a good sister you need to learn about the psychology behind autism. Your sister had to adapt to allistics nonsensical ways you could at least learn about autism.

[Asker]

I’m still learning about autism. She got diagnosed when she was about five or six.

[RavVid]

I imagine there might be help/support groups for families.

[Asker]

I don’t know how that’s going to help but okay

[RavVid]

Was thinking you and your fam probably get stressed by it all. To help your sis better you are not stressed. No experience and my only thought for you.

[Asker]

I guess so

[MikeRJ]

One of the symptoms of autism is a lack of social interactions.

[Asker]

Why? Is that why they suck at social cues? No offense but they need to get over it.

[MikeRJ]

You don't just "get over" a neurodevelopmental disorder. It would be like telling someone to get over diabetes, depression, or heart disease.

[Asker]

Well illnesses are different.
She needs to get over her lack of socialization! She should have been over that when she was 18. I don't talk to her like child like some relatives too. I talk to her like any other adult and let her figure out things on her own.

[Anonymous]

How is being autistic confusing for you?

[Asker]

I don’t know. She keeps pushing people away and it’s very fusterating.