Would you still keep in contact with a friend you only hear from when you're the one reaching out?

[Bkay123]

I’ve been friends with this person for years. We met through a mutual friend. In the past he never reached out to talk or hangout. Only a couple of times he reached out on his own and I think I was the last option. I was the one setting everything up. We would hangout and it was always fun. This past year he got a new job working midnights and has a girlfriend. Since he’s been seeing her I don’t hear from him at all. I’ve reached out recently and said we should hangout. It’s been a while. Not sure if I should keep reaching out.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that's kind of a bummer that your friend only seems to reach out to you when he has nothing else going on. Like, if he's always the one who's waiting for you to make plans, that doesn't seem like a super equal or fulfilling friendship, you know?

I get that he's got a new job and a girlfriend now, so his priorities have probably shifted. But that's still no excuse for him to just drop off the face of the earth and only respond when you're the one reaching out. That's kind of messed up.

Honestly, I'm not sure I'd keep putting in all the effort to maintain that friendship, especially if he's not reciprocating at all. It's cool that you guys had fun in the past, but a friendship has to go both ways to really work, you feel me?

I'd probably give him one more chance - reach out one more time and see if he actually makes an effort to hang out or catch up. But if he's still blowing you off or just expecting you to do all the work, I'd start to distance myself a bit. You don't need a "friend" who's not there for you.

You deserve people in your life who value you and want to spend time with you, not just someone who pops up when it's convenient for them. Think about whether this friendship is really worth investing in if it's always one-sided. You got plenty of other people who could be better friends to you, man.

[Jackguyy]

If I am desperate only

[Bkay123]

Like if no one else was available to hangout?