Would you keep a friend who isn't as into the friendship as you are?

[Anonymous]

In terms of not the same level as wanting to be friends?

[kitty71]

Im in a situation that could be that case in this post. I have a few few friends only. I had never been of a person who h as a lot of friends anyway. And most of the friends I hang out like before are only females, I practically do not have male friends and never had them as friends to hang out with, unlike other people who have male and female friends, not my case. Im the only single one in my small circle of female friends. So sometimes beign like taht tends to be difficult to hang out with with my friends. In the past like just a few years back I had gone out with these friends because we had arranged to see each other and have girls nite out for instance, with these friends that are married and have families, but they had taken the time and organized their own personal schedules in order to unwind and hang out. Since im the only single one, they never are the ones with the initiative to talk and arrange anything, they never had done it, maybe just afew a few times, the rest im the only one who have the initiate to start a text conversation and say "hey lets do something it has been a while" . So since the pandemic started we could not go out so we did not see each other at all. When the pandemic was a bit better in my city again I re started to arrange something and told them about it. They all answered "yes we have to see again lets do something". Well it was just pure talk and blah blah and they never follow up and we never did anything. Now we can go out to bars to chit chat and these friends are like dissapeared, all of them stopped answering, something must had happened to all of them to catch up but they dotn text anymore. Im the one trying to set up something in the past months and text that and these friends stopped replying or liek they lost interest in seeing each other anymore. They dont text, they dont contact, anything. Im done being the only one with the interest of seeing each other and text to tell them hey lets do something again and we are supposed to be friends.

[Pinksquid1111]

I put in as much energy into the relationship as my friend gives to me.

Saying that I have friends that we hang out a couple times every few months. Then I have my best friend where we talk multiple times a week — even then my best friend and I may go about a week or two w/o talking since we are busy.

Then I have my work friends who I see multiple times a week for hours at work but very seldom do we hang out outside of work.

I have a sibling who never reaches out to me unless she needed a ride or something. She always choose her friends in life over family. There came a point where I set that boundary of not being emotionally involved. In person I’m kind and show interest in her life but that’s as far as I go.

Long story short don’t put out more emotional energy then you have. If it seems like a person doesn’t seem to want to hang out ever maybe it’s time to drop them. Only you can make that choice and it can be a hard one. Not sure your entire situation but as I’ve always been told — trust your gut.

[Anonymous]

If I feel like I'm doing all the "work" of calling, or texting, and it feels like they're always "too busy" then after a short while, I'm going to back off. And if they do it all the time, I will get to a point where I just drop way back to almost never contacting them. I don't often take it personally, I just feel like inviting them is a waste of time (or breath), because I assume they'll say "no." Sometimes it's harder if we WERE close friends and then just all of a sudden they just drop off almost completely. But to me, they have to make some effort to schedule something once in a while, at least.

Otherwise, I don't mind if they make some effort with me but we're not "best buds." That's ok. I can see them once a year and it doesn't feel like they're half involved in the friendship.

At the same time, don't pretend to be all excited and then just not bother. I mean, I'll get the hint, but...

[Adam1978]

Friendship is always going to be on both terms, so you can't go above what either of you don't agree on. You deal with the friendship on that level period. You can't demand anything extra from a friendship. Friendships aren't transactions. You learn what they like and include them in that and only that. So if either keep saying no they will be excluded, no point in keep asking.

[its_amelia_c]

Best advice I can give, and it will say SO much about how attentive your “friend” truly is, start mimicking their actions.


If they are acting a certain way towards you, then you in turn act the same way towards them. If they are only giving you 50% and you were giving 100%, then dial yourself down to that 50% also!


Don’t give more than they are giving. Dont go that extra mile for them if they are not for you. Don’t care more, don’t try more, don’t want more because clearly your just hurting yourself and they don’t seem to care.


So when you now match their actions, you will see if they notice that you are no longer trying, or giving that 100% effort that you used to be. If they don’t then you know it’s been worth it and they are not a true friend and not worth your time. That it’s time to make new, true friends, who care about you!

[TwinkleLily5]

Since I’ve been growing and changing my friends/ associates have been falling out of my life. At first it stung but then I realized those people no longer were on my level. With time I was glad the friendship had fizzled out. I reached out to a few and they were short and brief with me. I stopped reaching out and two of them texted I replied back and never no reply. I hadn’t spoke with them in about 5 months but I couldn’t believe they didn’t bother to reply back especially being one of them had started texting me first. I’m glad I met them but they are no longer necessary in my life. It doesn’t bother me that we no longer talk. I know ppls lives are busy but people make time for who and what’s important to them.

[Alwayreckles93]

No I have learn If people want me in their life they would also check on me not just used me for favors. A lot so called friends only wanted to be friends with me because they had a crush on my brother and wanted to date him or wanted me to do them favors later forget about me.

[Emilyis]

Sure, I would keep him as a friend but apparently you want to be more than friends and he doesn't. Don't keep pushing him or he will leave and you will have lost him. If he likes you and he just wants to be friends that let it be that. It may change later.

[lamaguy]

My friend has been slipping away with new friends and just recently I found out he now has a new girlfriend who was his previous friend. We barely talk at school anymore but I still hang around him. When we do stuff outside of school as just the two of us we talk and have fun again.

[lamaguy]

So yes I try to keep my friend

[GrantArmstrong]

I would. I have a friend like that and he is great when we are together but doesn't make the same effort to keep it going by text or call and set those meetings up. We have been friends since we were kids. He lives a 6 hour flight away and is just kind of a flake with long distance communication. I reach out every month or so and sometimes I get him.

[PhenomenalQueen]

No, I’m currently experiencing that and what she doesn’t know is that I’m about to completely stop talking to her.. She’s a very fake and toxic friend.

[Asker]

Can I message you? Just followed you. Please follow me back. Thanks!

[PhenomenalQueen]

Yes you can.

[midnightmoon05]

Friends come and go…
real friendship is never 50/50… you will know/feel if you want to invest more or less. I have about 3-5 close friends and value our friendships mutually.

[shaysh87]

i think you have way too much time on your hands if you would have to ask a question like this. go do something productive.

[Asker]

I don't think you understood the question.

[Tinana]

Nope absolutely not. If I make you a priority you should make me one as welll. Else I’d reduce my time and effort on you

[crossdressingrihno]

You gain and lose friends over time
Just let it naturally take its course if they fade away from you then let them that's all I got to say about it

[TwinkleLily5]

True

[HOAAH]

If they keep meeting up with me, then I would keep them :).

[Asker]

Can I message you? :)

[HOAAH]

sure

[wassim97]

Well yeah I don’t like it I didn’t care before but things changed and I don’t need friendships for just that i know people

[Yucy_Gluttony]

NAW! Friends can be replaced. These people who aren't as invested will be cut off and maybe replaced by better ones.

[GoldieLockes]

Nah, I wouldn’t keep someone that isn’t into our friendship as much as I am, because life is just too short to put effort into somebody that doesn’t give you the same effort back

[kangy]

No I wouldn't.
I. believe it takes two hands to make a friendship or relationship work.
it just tell me I am not her friend

[NathanDavis]

yes... because I would never expect other people to be the same as me, I let them be themselves

[Anonymous]

Yes but not a best friend no

I did this once and it didn't end well. You never get fulfilled in terms of the friendship because the other person doesn't care for the connection.

[Anonymous]

So-to-speak. I mean a friend is a rare an valued thing to me. And the reality is most people I know simply don't make the cut. Does that mean I don't like them anymore? No! Of course not. You just get relegated to acquaintance status.

[20yearsolder]

I put the same amount of effort into the relationship as the "friend"puts into the relationship

[slatyb]

Yes, but I wouldn't put more into it than I was getting.

[OddBeMe]

Depends what I get out of it. I think my “friends” keep me around for special occasions where my dry wit and unflinching honesty is welcome. Then the rest of year I’m lucky to get a text.

[gabby100]

Yes , i have friends who just want to be a mate , to chat to nothing heavy..

[penteractgaming]

If there is a huge gap in how much effort is put into the relationship then no.

[Akpos]

Yes, sometimes in a friendship their must not be mutual effort from both sides, it depends on the intentions you in making such person your friend

[Jamie05rhs]

Um, that's pretty much all of my friends lol. (Well, minus 2 or 3.) So yes, I would.

[Luopio27]

Friendship doesn't work if one is atracted or has a crush on the other.

[chulo1992]

Sure... I will treat them exactly how they treat me

[Paul09]

Maybe she's a introvert? If not, yeah just don't say anything to her. Time will tell.

[EaterPeter]

And why would I do that. Never I had girfriends who were selfish enough

[SignedAutographs]

Are we talking "opposite" sex, and "being straight"

[Sour-rose]

No. It's a waste of time

[WhitneySnow]

Only as a casual friend

[itsalyssaagain]

No life’s too short for that

[Lis-the-librarian]

No i like to be close to my friends.

[Cleopatra1980]

No I don’t keep toxic people in my life.

[JesseJayNeak]

No. There’s no point in that

[paigefaithful]

Nope. There's no point

[exitseven]

Maybe not.

[CallmeTheKnight]

I wouldn't

[Iron_Man]

What’s the point

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would

[justsomemale]

Nope