Am I being used?

[Anonymous]

I moved in with my girlfriend in an apartment down from her mum which her mum owns. I pay for everything for my girlfriend even though it’s not my responsibility as she is only 19 and still studying. This month we went abroad and I ran out of money and her mum asked for the rent. I pay the bills also groceries. I said I have some money to give but not all of it as I had some expenses and she said let everyone manage themselves and what can I say. I feel like I have been used just to take care of her daughter and my money, I am kind of lost I am not sure what to do

[LauraJ00]

Well no matter where you go you would have to pay rent or mortgage in full. So that’s not weird. I get the sense that maybe there are other things going that are upsetting you. If so, follow your instincts.

[Asker]

Listen I understand I have to pay the rent in full, my girlfriend is studying and is 19 and I am 21. I am worried if it keeps going like this and I’m paying for everything such as rent food and bills all by myself I won’t get to build a future. I don’t mind paying the bills and rent. I mean before we moved down stairs the house was empty and no one was paying anything to stay there. I’m taking care of my girlfriend so to me it seems like I am just being used for my money. My girlfriend is studying and doesn’t work and her mum owns the house. In one way I’m taking care of her daughter and getting some money of her shoulders. If I wasn’t staying down then my girlfriend would be staying up and my girlfriends mums bills and expenses would increase way more

[Asker]

I’m taking care of her daughter when it’s not my responsibility to do so. Yes I moved in with my girlfriend but I didn’t sign up to taking all the responsibilities for her daughter. I just felt like I was being used for my money yesterday. We went for a little couple days holiday and we spent some of the money that I saved and from my Easter bonus also my girlfriend paid some as she got some money from her dad for the trip. We ran out of money still as we were out all day and a foreign country csn get expensive when u are travelling. I spent some of my pay check as I also gotten paid so we are not left stranded and hungry.

[Asker]

I told my girlfriend to explain the situation to her mum and she did, we asked her mum if she wanted the rent which she said yes to, when I said I spent some so I will have to give her less this month. She said let me everyone fetch for them selves

[Asker]

That’s when I really felt like I was being used, so I had some money left which I put and gave her the rent because I felt betrayed by both her mum and my girlfriend. Like I pay everything for your daughter the least you could do is explain to me nicely you need the money. Not say let everyone fetch for themselves. Now I’m planning on going back to london as we live in Greece and only send my girlfriend money so she can take care of herself

[Asker]

I don’t owe anyone anything especially when I been paying for her daughter for over a year for everything and sometimes even give her money to spend which I don’t care about so she doesn’t go and ask her mum

[Ariesman81]

If you're not getting what you think you should be in return for your role, then it may be wise to look for another.

[Asker]

Read my responses to other comments 😄

[slatyb]

What to do? You negotiate what you believe is fair, or you end the relationship and find another place to live.

[Asker]

It would be appreciated if you could read the comment with 5 replies as you will get a better understanding of the situation

[Asker]

And Ofc try to give me some advice