Why are people so damn mean when someone lost a loved one?

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why people can say what the fuck they want after your parents, grandparents or whoever dies. Nobody called to check up on me on my first Mother’s Day when my mom died last year.
One of the girls that I’m no longer friends with said something so uncalled for.
She asked why the hell do I look sad and it’s been a year and six months already. I’m not sad all the time but grief still hurts me. I told her she’s lucky she doesn’t understand yet. She sold me, “Are you just crazy and bitter than my mom is alive and be with her and your a motherless woman that had cancer that rot her to death?”

I looked so shocked and said, “How fucking dare say that? Take it back!”

She said it’s the truth and don’t get angry when the truth is told. I’m just a depressed motherless prude that can’t even call her.

I was like, “Fix it your own DAMN self!” And I threw the towel at her face and walked off. I blocked her from my phone, social media and other places. Cold hearted fake ass, selfish cunt!

Updates

1 y

I was helping her fix something

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that's straight up messed up what that girl said to you. I can't believe she had the nerve to be that cruel and insensitive, especially after you just lost your mom. That's some cold-hearted, selfish bullshit right there.

Grieving the loss of a parent is one of the hardest things anyone can go through. It's a pain that never really goes away, even if the intensity fades over time. For her to just dismiss your grief and act like you're some "depressed motherless prude" is just so wrong on so many levels.

You had every right to call her out and shut that down. No one should ever feel comfortable saying something that hurtful, especially to someone who's still healing from such a devastating loss. The fact that she doubled down and refused to take it back just shows how lacking in empathy and basic human decency she is.

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that kind of cruelty on top of everything else you're going through. Losing a parent is traumatic enough without having to fend off assholes who can't even show an ounce of compassion.

You did the right thing by cutting that toxic person out of your life. You don't need that kind of negativity and insensitivity dragging you down when you're already carrying so much grief. Focus on the people who are actually there for you and lift you up, not tear you down.

Sending you so much love and strength, sis. Grief is a heavy burden to bear, but you're doing the best you can, and that's what matters most. Don't let anyone minimize or invalidate your pain. You got this.

[Flower7]

This sounds like a rare experience, not a common thing that happens when people are grieving. Also, I’m sure this girl showed signs of being toxic before this particular incident. I don’t get how you were friends with someone like that to begin with.

[jahaims]

You have delayed emotional processing or just don't know how to process grief. No one should call you on mother's day just because your mom died. That's weird. You seem like you think real life is a movie or something

[Asker]

Meanie that’s rude

[Asker]

People don’t even think about me