I always say hi to my friends, but they never say hi back. Is this normal?

[babet]

I text or call my friends to check on them or just chat sometimes. They always answer, but almost never start the conversation. It feels like I’m the only one trying. Should I stop reaching out or is this just how friendships are?

[Purpleronnie]

I think we have different understandings / perception of what a friendship is or what having a friend means. This I don’t blame you for , the term tends to change and has done specifically in recent years


Checking in on friends I never say hi over text / message. I say hi or similar as I walk in their houses just so they know I’ve arrived. We pick up where we left off and then circle back and forth … this maybe within a month or within a year.. friends are a constant. I don’t and wouldn’t expect them to judge who checks in first or most … I’m way past that as a person but if you need that in a friend , then perhaps try to understand how they see it not just expect it and then if you don’t get it your upset or angry.


Finally , I know text. Message is convenient but it’s often also lazy , get in front of them , understand where they are at and let them know where you are at.. it’s that simple

[Chazmatazz269]

That’s normal, but it still sucks.
You should definitely let your friends know how you feel, but know that people are less likely to engage genuinely when they think you’re keeping score. So therein lies a catch twenty-two. Either risk developing resentments because you feel like you’re the only one initiating contact, or risk your friends developing resentments because they think you’re keeping score.
If you’re fortunate, at least one of them will understand and you’ll be able to foster a more mutually beneficial relationship. But there’s no guarantee.
Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Relationships take effort. Paying attention to the other persons likes or dislikes, happy and upsetting moments matters. Hi is what a stranger says. Check in on each person reflecting what they have been going through. If you really care it shows and is appreciated in reflection.

[wynning]

Can you see if you can hangout with them? Might help either close the gap or make it all the more clear you’re not that important to them in my opinion

[Shiprex]

Nowadays the self centred mode of life is in action all over. It's a sign of the times that so many people find solace in social media and are less interested in REAL relationships with people around them.

Sorry that they're neglecting your interest in them. You could let them know that you want to value them but without reciprocation then you're being energy drained by these emotional vampires.

[andreasderjuengere]

You mean... you only send ''hi'' as a message?

I'd then think that it's indeed normal to not reply with:

''hi back''.

Friendships actually do not require excessive messaging.

As it happens, I sent one to a friend of mine today after several weeks of ''silence''. And... he still knows my name :)

[SotiCoto]

That is how you know you're the extra. I know that feeling well. When your "friends" only consider you an "extra friend", as in not a member of their main social circle... so they don't engage with you voluntarily, don't include you in their normal friend things, and are simply polite to you when you talk to them... but they wouldn't miss you if you vanished off the face of the earth.
i. e. Not real friends.

[virgo2267]

Text me instead.. I’d love to make a new pen pal….
You have a lot to offer and if people give that vibe then don’t waste your time on them… you have many more people who you’ve yet to meet who can find you far more interesting than those so called friends

[strateguy632]

They are just busy. If they were not friends they wouldn't chat.

[WonderingManII]

I don't think they are really your friends. If they were they should check in on you from time to time.

[MannMitAntworten]

If you are the one always putting in the effort, yes, just let them slip away. It is on them if they want to keep in touch.

[lorenzomichael]

On that’s now normal or cool. So listen next time you want to say hello say it like this. “Hey bitch” or “ what’s up dick” how’s your day going? I’m sure then you’ll get a response.

[Nikki1989]

That is not real friendship. It seems like you are an optional extra.

[noohair]

They are not you friends. To them, you are just an acquaintance.

[HusamRocks]

You're not a priority friend to them

[anon1903]

Maybe say more than hi

[Wise4myage]

They don’t sound like friends to me.

[LiaRaven]

Some people are like that

[Anonymous]

It is time to ignore them

[Anonymous]

Depends on what kind of friends you have.

[exitseven]

Hi @babet

[RingOfFire]

Hi

...

[Biricik]

No seems one sided

[wkhan_87]

Which friends?