Would you give ex co-worker rides?

[Sunshine2817]

place I use to work at I

use to give my coworker

rides to and from work. Also

to Walmart and the bank and

sometimes her second job.

She gives me gas money.

She doesn't have a driver's

license or a car. She usually

takes a uber. She told me

sometimes she would rather

ask me to take her instead

of a uber. I told her sometimes

I can't always take her and she

shouldn't always expect me to give

her rides. Not only do I have to

drop her off I have to pick her up

also. Is it wrong of me not

wanting to give her rides?

What should I tell her when she

ask for rides when she expects me

to do it? It makes me feel like

I'm obligated to do it but it is

not my responsibility to take her

where she needs to go.

Yes

No

Sometimes

[ManOnFire]

Not sure why this is written in poem form but anyway - yes, sometimes it's fine. But you just need to be more firm and tell her No more often. She's an ex co-worker and it's not like you guys are commuting to the same spot, so you are not at her beck and call when she pleases.

Help her if you can here and there, and decline other times. If you don't she will think she can always take advantage of you.

[Sunshine2817]

I asked her why does she ask me. She said cause she needs a ride. But what if I feel like not doing it.

[ManOnFire]

You simply tell her: "Sorry, I'm not available today." She can take that how she wants. Don't be afraid to put your foot down, cuz if you don't she will always think she can control you.

[Anonymous]

My best friend got locked in this sort of situation. She had a co-worker who was super down on her luck and had no car, and because she was a pleasant person, it was a nice change of pace for her to give her a ride and have some good conversation on the way home. These rides were unpaid, but she felt it was out of the goodness of her heart. Unfortunately the co-worker started basically expecting to be driven every single day instead of the occasional ride, even when my friend had other obligations or frankly did not feel like making a detour to drive the woman home. She's a non-confrontational person, so I had to give her a lot of pep talks with her about how it's nice to do nice things for others, but you have a right to your own life. If you never want to give her another ride, what is she going to do about it? She must accept that and find an alternative.

Same goes for you. I'm happy that at least you've gotten gas money, but I would say practice just saying no. You don't need to give lies or elaborate explanations or justify it...it's YOUR car. A simple, "sorry, I won't be able to drive you today, or this week," is always enough. If you're being pressured into giving rides, just say, she knows she has the alternative of taking an Uber that she can use, and be done with it.

[katiesmuff]

Can't let that make your life, but ok to help if it fits at the time.

[Avicenna]

You’re doing it as a favor to her, so she should he grateful and not abuse it.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

I know it's hard to say no sometimes but you just say I am busy or I have some task so will not be able to aid.

[Pterodon]

Giving rides can get out of control. I’ve priced myself rather high so I don’t get ride requests much anymore. It’s $30 just to get in the car

[Chefskiss]

Sure

[Sunshine2817]

But what happens if I don't want to?