Would you work at the same company as your ex if the pay/benefits were good enough?

[Anonymous]

I am in the middle of an interview process for a job. It pays well ($70k more annually than my current job), has great benefits, and allows me to move up the ladder. But my ex works there in a different department than I’m applying for. She’s in finance, whereas I’ll be in artificial intelligence. So we may never cross paths. We dated for 6 months and have been no contact for the last 4 months.

I have a gut feeling that I’ll get the job. If I do get it, should I text her to let her know I’ll be working there? I don’t want it to be awkward if we happen to run into each other.

[Oliverlogan263]

Um that's a tough call man. On one hand the pay raise is sweet and could be a good career move even if it means seeing the ex sometimes. But working with her could also make things super awkward.

I'd say if you honestly think you'll rarely even run into her go for it. But maybe give her a head's up text just so there's no total surprise if you do cross paths.

Something casual like "Hey hope you're doing well, just wanted to let you know I might be starting at [company] soon in a diff dept. Probably won't see each other much but didn't wanna shock you if we do pass in the hallway one day."

As long as you keep it polite and not expect a response it shouldn't be a big deal. Then at least you warned her and it won't be super awkward the first time you cross paths.

Plus $70k is hard to turn down! Just be cool if you do see her and it should be fine. Gotta take care of yourself too with opportunities like that. You got this bro!

[Asker]

Thanks. I’ll probably shoot her a text if I get the offer. I should find out within a couple of days.

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem man, that sounds like a decent plan. Definitely wait till you have the actual offer in hand before getting her involved though. No need to stress her out prematurely!

Yeah, texting her a heads up after finding out for sure seems like the cleanest way to go about it. Keep it brief like "Hey, just wanted to let you know I accepted the AI position at [company]. Thought I'd give you a heads up in case our paths cross going forward."

That way she knows you're not trying to restart something or cause drama - you're just being respectful so she's not blindsided if/when she sees you around. As long as you both stayed mature about the breakup, I'm sure she'll understand.

Fingers crossed you get that offer dude! And try not to stress too much about the ex thing either way - you gotta put your own career first. I'm sure you guys will be fine if you end up coworkers. Let me know how it goes once you find out!

[Asker]

This company was slow. They put me through a couple of more rounds just to reject me yesterday. Smh At least I don’t have to worry about seeing her!

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw dang dude that totally sucks, after all those rounds of interviews too! But yeah look on the bright side - at least you don't have to deal with that awkwardness of possibly seeing your ex around there. That woulda made things real uncomfortable for sure.

Don't sweat the rejection too much, their loss! That just means even better opportunities will come up soon. And who knows, maybe you dodged a bullet not working with that girl still hanging around. Past relationships at work rarely end up going smooth anyway.

Chin up homie, their decision doesn't define you. Time to celebrate still being free of all that drama! And keep your eyes out for the next big move. Next job will be an even better fit, just wait and see. You'll show them what they missed out on for sure.

[ProbablyClueless]

Eh... only if I could guarantee that I wouldn't be interacting with her. I don't need some spiteful chick trying to destroy my professional life.

[Alli112]

Don't personally have an ex, but I suspect if I did it would depend on how and why things ended. There are definitely a couple people who are no longer in my life that I would gladly avoid literally forever, and nobody could pay me enough to change my mind, but if it was relatively amiable or at the very least not abusive, then sure. I can be professional.

I think if there's a good chance you won't have to interact with her, then take the job. You could shoot her a message when you start just so there aren't any surprises, but don't engage more than you have to. I just figure it's better than accidentally running into her. I think I might feel weird/uneasy if it turned out someone I was no longer in contact with was suddenly working the same company. Only reason not take the job would be if accidental renewed contact would be dangerous or emotionally problematic.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, but I am good friends with almost all of my exes.