Why dont my guy friends only intiate a conversation when im in a good mood?

[Anonymous]

I have two guy friends, supposedly. One is several years older (A) than me and the other one is slightly younger (B). As someone who likes to check on others well being, i do my best to initiate a conversation and ask how people are doing. Both to guys and girls. I always asks A and B how they are doing everyday. They're best buddies and I like to see them doing well. They help me out a lot and whenever I'm in my usual happy mood, they talk to me and the conversation is always a good one but i always tend to approach first. Yesterday, i received some sad news and I was pretty down all day. It was very clear to see because I'm just an open book. My female friends were asking how I was and I was honest with my feelings. Guy A picked up on it and asked if I was okay and I said not really but then he didn't say anything else after that. He did check up on me every now and again but only to ask if i needed help with what i was. It made me sad. Later, i was next to Guy B and he asked how I was doing and I said I was tired. He didn't say anything else after that. I wanted to take my mind out off the sad news so I tried to talk to Guy B about how he was and what he and his family was doing for Christmas, etc. But i was just getting short answers and he didn't bother asking me anything in return. That really brought me down cause I was hoping he would at least talk to me because I believed we were close enough to be friends. Is this a normal thing among men? My other guy friends whom I've known longer are very quick on the uptake and would immediately ask how I was doing and if im not good, they'll quickly ask what's wrong and will help me out and give advice. I've known Guy A and B for nearly a year so I'm really gutted that they didn't seem to care about me at all cause I care about them a lot. I see them as my friends but i think they only see me as "just another person".

[Bitter_Sweet94]

Your two guy friends aren’t heartless, they’re just doing what a lot of men do when emotions show up they freeze.

Most men aren’t trained to comfort someone emotionally, especially a woman they’re not super close to yet.

When you’re cheerful, you’re “easy” to talk to.

When you’re sad, they panic a bit, don’t know what to say, and default to practical help or short answers.

It’s not personal, it’s avoidance out of discomfort, not lack of care.

Guy A asking if you’re okay, then switching to task-based check ins, is classic “male support mode.”

Guy B going quiet is also common, many men fear saying the wrong thing, so they say nothing.

The part that hurts you is valid.

But it doesn’t automatically mean they don’t value you.

It means they’re not emotionally fluent with you yet.

If you want deeper friendships with them, you’ll probably have to set the tone by showing them how to be there for you, small cues like “Hey, I don’t need fixing, I just need someone to sit with me for a minute.”

Men often respond better when they know what’s expected of them.

So no, it’s not that you’re “just another person.”

It’s that their emotional toolbox is smaller than yours, and they don’t know how to handle you when you’re hurting.

[Nikki1989]

Don't dismiss the friendship yet. They showed they noticed you were down. Their failure wasn't in caring; it was in the execution of care, which is a common communication barrier you now have the power to fix.

[strateguy632]

Typo ! "Why don't they talk whhen you are down." But they both did. You should answer them but stopped

[In_Trance]

Guys never want to be friends
Ever