Guy friend seems happy if I vent to him?

[Ofoceansbeaches]

I've noticed a pattern with my guy friend. He seem to almost message me once or twice a week and will ask me how i am. I find it too soon to constantly talk as we talk for hours but anyways i just feel a bit odd about it. Then, i thought he had a reason why he asked how i was but when i responded and everything.

He was just really wanting to know how i was and how was my health. I had been sick for sometime and he seems to find happiness in helping me out.

Although im really used to handling everything on my own. So these constant talks are a surprise but i distinctly remember this was one of the reasons i got attached to him in the past.

It's not the usual thing of friends. Its like a conversation full of motivation, praise for the other, advises, tips and covers all areas of our lives sort of therapy talk. He once rejected me in the past so

A huge part of me do not want to go to that rabbit hole but why do you think he is coming back like this? He had mentioned few months back that i was the only one who understands him.

I frankly am hesitant with the emotional intimacy that constant hours of talk every week brings. I am perfectly fine on my own.

I tried responding coldly but felt guilty so i backtracked and shared some of the things that happened to me.

[devilish-cutie]

If he doesn't wanan date you seems like he is emotionally using you for the relationship you have or is just keeping you as an option and likes the idea that you like him. Does he ever share emotional stuff as you do? Cause if he doesn't, you shouldn't either and you shouldn't feel bad about it. I would suggest that you tell him kinda jokingly that he stops being so emotional/inimate towards you cause it will make you think/feel he likes you, something in those lines. If he jokes he does like you or something, you can say to stop joking about that and not lead you on/give you false hope as that is not ok, and that he is being too close and if he isn't about dating you than he shouldn't talk to you like you are in relationship (intimately, emotionally speaking). But if you really like this guy and want more from him and he doesn't, I definitely think you should distance ysf from him cause this way you are just leading ysf on and if he is really for you he should be afraid to lose you and not keep you as an option.

[Ofoceansbeaches]

Thanks. He does message me and share stuff about himself as well. It's just lately that he asked me out of the blue how i was and i thought there's something he needed lol but he just wanted to hear updates from me. I guess im venting this now because i know he'll message again and its a cycle

[devilish-cutie]

I think you should distance ysf when he talks to you, I know it makes you feel bad and you may fear of losing him, but you dont actually have him and leading ysf on is hurtful. Try to face those things you are afraid of, you need a man who initiates things with you, this that doesn't know what he wants can't make you happy anyways, he is an illusion of what you want, not reality

[Ofoceansbeaches]

Im all for it but i think im more of not wanting to lose the friendship. But nonetheless i guess i have to admit that feelings were lost

[devilish-cutie]

the friendship is not worth the pain of being lead on

[OlderAndWiser]

You and he need to have a serious talk about what direction he wants you two to go.

[HouseMoat]

Why girls think you can be "just friends", I don't know