Do you feel an urge or instinct that makes you want children?

[DreamCrescent]

i’m trying to understand how many people want children just because of status or possession vs want children because of biological wiring vs don’t want children because they are not affected by either of the above

I want children because it’s in my life plans

I feel a particular instinct when i hold a small baby

When i’m in love with someone, i want their babies and to be a family and raise children with them

I just want someone to take care of me when I’m old

Children are expensive and i’d go the tube tie / vasectomy route

i don’t want children, not because they’re expensive, i just don’t feel that instinct people talk about

none of these

[ohsheeT]

I always wanted children but I was scared maybe I wasn't responsible enough to take care of them right maybe if having them what happens if if was to get a divorce.
My dad left my mom when I was one

I had a step dad when I was two at 5 I found out he wasn't my dad and from that moment on I wanted to know who I was. From 5 to 10 my step dad would beat me with a belt. At 10 they divorced .

At 16 my mom remarried at 16 1/2 I must had done something wrong and he put his hands on me and it was instinct to protect myself I put him in against the wall and in his eye he seen fear not from me I dont think but I felt he was looking through me I felt my mom I whisper to him never to touch me again I let go of him a turned to see my mom as I walked past her. I told you I would never let any one hurt me again the next week later I moved out
At 18 got married and with in months was going to have a baby. After my son was born my ex wife put me in jail and chance she got with any lie she could come up with I new that I had to do what ever I had to do to raise my son because I didn't want him to be raised by her i felt there was something mentally wrong with her

I went to court went to court went to court went to jail when the court fighting to get him away from her
He had always wanted to know why we broke up I told him to ask his mom. He said he did but he didn't believe her

I told him when he turned 18 I would tell him at 17 he asked me again I told him when he turned eighteen I would tell him i said , if you need to know , go ask your grandparents or your mom's brothers and sisters , they will tell you the truth he said why can't you tell me. I said I would love to but I can't yet. .. if I do it will make me look worse than all the things your mother has said or done to me

My son was raise with pure love and understanding with me no yelling. No bad words about his mother eye to eye love and commitment that I would raise him to be better than me. At 18 his mom called me and told me he was calling her names to come get him . When I got there I asked what he was doing he said I found out the truth on what happen I new everything she had said about you was a lie I found out that all the times she put you in jail it was a lie and dad you are so smart I also no now why you never said a bad word about her and why you wouldn't tell me he said it's because of this moment right now right before you got here she was calling you so many names and how she kept till him what a bad guy I was.. and he said no mom he new you would say anything to make him look bad in my eyes he did say one thing to me about you I talk to grandma and grand pa and uncle Mike and Danny and aunt Christy they all told me the same thing it was you and everything you put him through I looked at her and her said I hate mom and started calling her names and I told no dont call her names he said why didn't you kick her ass. I looked at her and I said I told you he was going to grow up to hate you. He asked again how come I didn't kick her ass.

And I said because. and he said because I you new this day was going to come I said yes and if I would had done anything this would not have happen like this and I would have been wrong because it would had tought you . it's ok to hit a women and it's not and you need to stop talking to her like that it was between her and I. She's your mother he said she's a liar . A fake how can you protect her. I said come on your going with me..

Sorry I just needed to get that out of me but when you have children the only way to raise them is with love pride commitment you dont have to yell scream threaten or hit them to teach them. If they do something wrong, you use little of words as you can.\nAnd you give them more responsibility.
You don't hit you don't take away from you, don't be little, you don't make it about yourself, it's on them. And with very little words , you make that understood , and it's done , it's over so it is both an urge, an instinct\nAnd love you teach and you guys and you laugh and you have fun you talk and you're honest and they will become the best they can become and you trust in your respect , you set the foundation and let them build
In life within we all ready have the answers we already know things if we listen we can fix things if we dont we fall no matter what it is in life , always be looking five thousand yards ahead because whatever you see is going to come up fast , you better be prepared

[Phoenix98]

Personally I am very family oriented but I also in general just have strong paternal instincts and seeing babies, kids makes me happy. And I want that but I also want to create a legacy to leave behind.

[Simslover92]

I did but not anymore. If it somehow happens, then I will be happy but it will have to be with the right guy and that guy must be my husband first. So I have about 6 years left before I give up on that idea.

[elizamichale1]

Well i m mum of twin boys aged 7 but I always said I would never had children yet I do

[Summeroflove]

So this is weird because everyone’s different and for most people they are all of the above. Narcissists…. It really comes down to biological wiring and social status among other things such as having persons they can manipulate and control.

But for normal people most people have different parts of themselves. There is the part of them that is primal it says “procreate” find the best partner and mate to have the best possible babies. It says, make someone pregnant or get pregnant.

Another part of people sees people getting married and having children. The fact is many people are in a race a race that not only can hurt yourself but your partner and children as well. Some people get married young and have kids young. And guess what? It lasts. They make it. It’s amazing.

But you will see a lot of people that slow and steady does win the race… When they’re younger they’re having babies and getting married. But one day when they’re divorced (sometimes multiple times) with kids involved. It becomes messy… and messy fast. They then will feel jealous of people who waited and are more stable now.

Then, there is the part of us. The more spiritual side of us that wants love and connection and bonding with another person. There is that part as well…. And it comes to children as well.

Having all three sides if they’re not working together. You’re in a lot of trouble. That causes problems

[GeorgePulchri]

I actually might never even get married to be honest. I am not in a rush to have children. But when I think about the young women that I have really liked in my life, if I had a sweet little baby human that looked like them and had one or a few of their talents and or strengths, it would feel like an extension of being able to love them almost while also taking care of a unique human who is full of potential.

I would want to help my wife reach her full potential and help my children reach their full potentials, with or without me.

I see attraction to females as a man as an instinctive drive to energize and like electrifiy another human life and that energy sort of is supposed to radiate through the family long after i am gone.

But I have found as an adult that there are other ways of answering that instinct, like in creating art for example or in helping my friends live better lives.

Also, in order to do what I want to do for my family; I would need to have quite a bit more income than I have now. That's why I have been turning dating opportunities down so much.

So I might just be celibate and just not worry about experiencing anything sexual in my life and not have kids or get married or anything.

Depends on if I start to care at some point or if I start to make more money.

[Purpleronnie]

I knew from before my teenage years I never wanted children. Not for any complex reasoning just plain and simple had no desire to ever be a father.


That came with the realization that there was the strong possibility that in so choosing I may be ultimately additionally inadvertently opting for the single life.


Fortunately though things turned out differently and I managed to find the love of my life who had made that same choice.

[Awesomesauce2005]

It's sickening how low drive to have children is nowadays. Its almost like the government indoctrinated the last few generations into thinking daycare and public school was raising your kid properly when in actuality it was the bare minimum. Less contact with your kids leads to less respect from your kids leads to their kids being the same way and it all continues in a hellish cycle till now where we have gen alpha that is basically entitled with no accountability

[Lliam]

I never wanted the expense, worry or responsibility of children. When you have children, your entire life revolves around them. I preferred my freedom. And I don't even think they are that cute.

[aaron-98]

it depend on each one personality and desire , some people want children because it is our biology instinct , some are okay not having them , and some maybe want them but they could have issues that stops them from having children and most of us at some point will wish to have children but that desire can change depending on the circumstances

[exitseven]

I was pretty neutral about the aspect of having kids. I was not even sure that I could even have kids and it really did not bother me.

However I now have 3 kids and I am glad that I had them.

[queenofcardio]

I have no desire to have kids. I may be open to having one later on

[MasterKS]

@queenofcardio i second.

[msc545]

I've had one child, and if women didn't use babies and children as weapons, I would be very interested in having another one because I really love babies and children. However, women have made it impossible for men.

[DJB72]

My son is 7. His mum and I had talked about having another but our age was an issue. Since she has subsequently died that's more of an issue.

[MikeMcMansion]

I want kids so the work I do in my family business will be worth it. I have a lot to give but to no one at the moment.

[Ironco]

My wife and I had multiple miscarriages, before our son. Sadly he passed away right after my wife passed away. Bout 2 years later. So I never thought about having more children.

[Ariesman81]

We get to an age where legacy becomes a priority. I sure as hell don't want my hard work going to the state.

[Anonymous]

Maybe. Not sure. Too young to worry about that yet.

[AngryCarl2]

Children are a trick that nature plays on males for wanting to have sex.

[LiamJHayden]

I'm congenitally sterile and I have accepted that I won't ever have any.

[FiveEight58]

I’m 50/50 the way society is now and days. To me it’s a form of abuse.

[MasterKS]

zero interest in child, although do the process... LOL

[Chocolatetwopoint3]

im 100% tieing my tubes when im 18

[Anonymous]

I voted C, but I never had luck in love.

[DreamCrescent]

you would like to find love and a life partner but are opposed to having children, then?

i feel that way too

[Opinion Owner]

I'd like to have children with the person I love, but all of my loves were unrequited.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Why would I want children at 72?

[NathanDavis]

nope