Why do ADHD behaviors often get criticized by others?

[smahala1991]

Like say for instance a ADHD person does not hear or understand the first time around and you ask to repeat what was said for clarification, the person gets angry for you not hearing it the first time or misunderstanding what was said. It's not our fault that we can't always understand all the time or miss things you may have or not said but we missed them.

[Account]

The jumping from one topic to another (which is not exactly another topic but it seems to be that way for other people) without explaining the thought process behind those two topics or the correlation and magically expecting the other person to figure it out, subconsciously assuming their thought process is similar to yours.
I am guilty of that too sometimes.

[Account]

Oh I misread the question, I read "Which ADHD behaviors often get criticized by others?" which me misreading it somehow proves the why lmao.

[White_Widow]

Because the diagnosis of ADHD is often used as an excuse for certain behavior as if they can't help themselves. While in the meantime people with ADHD are perfectly capable of following rules, adhere to boundaries and act the same as the majority of everyone else.

[msc545]

Thank you for demonstrating that people with a diagnosis of lack of education are totally incapable of understanding mental disorders like ADHD.

[White_Widow]

So you are suggesting that people with ADHD can't follow rules and adhere to boundaries?

Just because they have trouble dealing with their impulses, doesn't mean they cannot control them at all. So stop using the diagnosis as an excuse or try some ritalin but its still a choice to follow your impulse, THEY are capable of choosing not to act on them.

[msc545]

I think that at best, people with ADHD have intermittent difficulties following rules and adhering to boundaries. I get that this is irritating to others, but if you want to be around somebody with ADHD, this is part of what you're signing up for.

Contrary to your statement, they often have the experience of being completely unable to control their impulses. Using the word "excuse" in this context or claiming that people just use the diagnosis as an excuse is offensive as hell. Assuming that people are capable of not acting on their impulses is ignorant as hell.

Are you a mental health expert? I ask because I am, and I say you're wrong.

[White_Widow]

No I'm not a health expert, I do work with a lot of people that have ADHD and my comments are their own own words.

The people I have worked with that have ADHD all claim that its BS that they aren't able to function like any other, they do say its harder, because like you said, its hard to control their impulses. Which I never denied. But its a matter of practice. With all due respect, for those that just stopped trying and started to yell, I HAVE ADHD SO I CAN'T HELP MYSELF, simply don't want to be helped, they like the "special" treatment cause they get away with a lot more than anyone else, are often not held accountable and I could go on.

I am not saying its not a real condition, nor am I saying that it can't be bad.

But stop using it as an excuse!

[msc545]

So you know nothing.

[msc545]

What kind of work do you do with people, making them feel guilty about their own behavior?

[White_Widow]

Lol, if you find that holding people accountable for their own behavior, means guiltripping them. Then yes, thats my job. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[msc545]

Yeah I bet those people just hate your guts and with good reasons. The whole holding people accountable phrase kind of gives that away.

[White_Widow]

No I should thank you for demonstrating that an actual mental health expert doesn't think that people are are responsible and accountable for their own actions and behavior.

How are you still in business? Cause if they don't have to change anything, there is not much for you to do? Or are you just there to pet them over the head and tell them its all OK?

[msc545]

So, an actual mental health expert, that is, myself, thinks that your understanding of mental health problems is exceedingly limited, if not completely absent. I also think you are harsh and authoritarian, and you have absolutely no business being around anybody who has a mental health problem. You need some mental health yourself. Mental health: help yourself, particularly in regard to what seems to be your chronic anger. Your need to punish people that you don't approve of is really disturbing.

[White_Widow]

Please enlighten me in how I have punished the people around me? And correct me if I'am wrong, but what you are actually saying is that, I'm not allowed to hold people accountable for their actions and behavior when they show actions and behaviors that don't corrospond with how society wants us to be? So when an employee of mine doesn't do his or her job, I can't hold them accountable because they have ADHD? Because thats an excuse to not do their job?

Please tell me how you think it does work then?

[msc545]

All you're holding accountable bullshit which you keep repeating over and over again is just code for punishing people. Don't think I don't know that. You use that terminology because you don't feel comfortable saying that. What you really want to do is intimidate and punish people for doing things that you don't think are appropriate. I think your behavior and your attitude are actually the things that are inappropriate.

[msc545]

Mostly because those behaviors are a lot like anxiety, behaviors and both of those conditions result in verbal behaviors that are extremely annoying to others.

[Agape93]

Because it's exhausting to deal with

[msc545]

Yes it really is exhausting to deal with.

[jahaims]

Because it's obviously annoying to repeat yourself