My boyfriend has forgotten about my family?

[Anonymous]

He’s been to my house twice. First time to come with my brother and mum to a party. The second time he stayed the weekend. The weekend after that we stayed at my grandma’s.

When I got back home from my grandmas my mum had told me that when he stayed at ours, my brother pulled him in his room for a chat, my boyfriend told him about his illegal side job. My brother is 1 year younger than us, basically the same age.

My mum then said he can’t stay anymore until this is worked out because she didn’t like what he told my brother.

When I asked my boyfriend about this in the evening, he was defensive before I even mentioned it properly and didn’t like that my brother told.

My mum said he can only stay if he has a quick chat with her over the phone, he refused even though he liked my house.

He hasn’t been since. I went to his house once then started going to his house every weekend.

[HollyK21]

I don’t understand what you mean by saying he forgot your family — he’s barely allowed at your house and you know that. It would be uncomfortable for him to be there knowing what your family thinks, especially close, important family like your mom and brother. Plus you live with them so there’s no way for him to avoid them. So I’m not sure what you want him to do about that. I’m also not sure why you’d wanna be involved with a man who’s got an illegal profession. Your family doesn’t approve and rightfully so, it could inadvertently land you or even them in trouble. You’d be best suited breaking up altogether if he plans on keeping that job.

[Asker]

He is allowed now as my mum dropped the ‘phone call’ boundary a few months ago

[HollyK21]

She most likely did that on your behalf, as I’m sure you’ve addressed this with her. In any case it’s fine that she dropped the boundary, however it doesn’t mean he’s going to feel comfortable yet. Not while he’s still doing that job and knowing how your family really feels about it. If you still don’t understand, just try putting the shoe on the other foot. You’re most likely at least relatively comfortable around his family, but I’m sure you would have a whole different outlook if you had an illegal job, his mom found out and didn’t really want you around. Even after things get patched up, you’d likely still feel reluctant to stop by and hang out. You’d be feeling self conscious, embarrassed or like you’re being a bad influence.

[Staximus]

If your boyfriend is doing stupid shit that's going to land him in jail, you need to pull your head out of your ass and listen to your family and get rid of him before you go to jail with him.

[slatyb]

He sounds like bad news, but you didn't tell us what he said.

[Crazy_Turk]

I think you should stay away from her