Why is my boyfriend obsessed with his family?

[Anonymous]

ok lets start of by saying I have a kid with this guy and we have been together for 4 years you would think by now he would stop doing stupid sh*t he is not really all in his whole family its more specific its his cousins and not even all of them just like these 3 cousins of his its annoying because he sneaks out just to be with them and leaves me asleep when I'm really tired he has done this more three times its getting to the point where I wanna leave and I don't wanna here that bs about boys are boys because his cousins are hoes and are always trying to take him to parties and bars and club which pisses me because they should know better than to ask a married guy out I just wanna move somewheres far with him and our daughter but that won't help does he needs to go to therapy I wonder sometimes if he OK in the head because will do anything to go to their house specially without I really think he goes because they are always at parties and there's always girls there... and he always try to use any excuse to go ...I don't know what to do ...if I tell him I don't want him going he will give me fit and tell him he will leave me if he doesn't get to go ...and I remind him we have a daughter he says doesn't care and that he wants me gone if I don't like it and that he rather us be seperated even if that means from the baby as long as it makes him happy...and then when he gets what he wants he is all happy again...i can't stand him at all sometimes but I love him and I did choose my destination so here I am...I just want to leave ometimes but that would probably just make him happy so no...lol any advice..? I'm getting tired of it and when it comes to visiting my family he says no its too late when its like 9:45 pm ...

[Anonymous]

Ok first things first. You don't have a right to tell him not to see his family. Just as he has no right to tell you that you cannot see your family. It sounds like he just needs some time away, what's so wrong with that? He probably wouldn't sneak around and would want to spend more time with you and the babe if you didn't freak out anytime he wanted to see his family. You sound like you are jealous of them. The truth is though, that you aren't enough for him. Everyone needs people outside of there marriage, it isn't healthy to not have relationships with other people. So what if there are other girls at their parties, do you trust him? If you don't trust him you shouldn't have married him. Have some faith in the man you call your husband, give him some breathing room and give him some PEACE when he comes home to you, not bitching. If all you do is bitch then he's not going to want to be there, which is sort of how it looks to me with what you wrote. Is the problem that he doesn't want to see your family or that he doesn't want you to see them? If he doesn't want to go, go without him! If he doesn't want you to go, tell him it's not up to him and go anyway. You sound to immature to be married, let alone have a child. Grow up and stop being selfish. Trying to keep someone away from their family is the BEST way to push them AWAY from you!

[Asker]

ok first of all I don't tell him he can't see his family but when he does everyday it get annoying and the only reason you say that is because you are guys...point is if the story was the other way around he wouldn't like it and tell me to stop and I would because he and my daughter are his main family now he should of known when we were having and planned her what happen to the real men out there who actually tend to their main family oh yea I forgot they are all dead or old...

[Opinion Owner]

I'm a woman, and when my fiance' and I get married I won't be his freakin prison guard. Yon don't have to just quit having fun just because you have a ring on your finger and a child. You're right, you should leave him. Let him be happy, you are coming across as an evil ill intentioned little bitch.

[nubianstar]

its okay for a guy to go out with his friends or cousin. but its what he does when he goes out. people still can be married and still have a social life aslong as they are still spending meaningful time with there spouse because at the end of the day if he loves you he does need to be spending time with you.

you could go out with your friends when he goes out with his. you could find a babysitter or ust bring your daughter along and do something with the kids that's also fun for adults..like a park or arcade...etc.

some people are just closer to there family then others especially when you grow up around them. but at the same time no man should threaten to leave you just because you object to him going out with his friends. he just might be a no good man.

you might have to be another single black woman raising kids by herself just like most of the black population.

[Anonymous]

They shouldn't ask a married man to go out and party? WTF woman, he's married, not dead! The more I read the more agitated I get. This is the kind of behavior that makes guys NOT want to get married!

[Asker]

No its rude. but I guess karma is bitch if he ever does anything he shouldn't we go out places we are grown and we know our places isn't parties anymore ...there's other things but parties

[Opinion Owner]

I'm having a hard time believing this isn't some kind of a joke. April fools? Do you actually think this way? Twisted . . . . seriously, I feel really bad for your husband.

[bassman]

YOU need Marriage counseling! LIKE yesterday! You guys are clearly not on the same page...maybe not even the same BOOK! You two cannot fix this yourself...you need a 3rd person to talk with the both of you about these things...GET HELP quick... If you want;;; send me an email...i might be able to help a little...but long term... you need proffesional help or you will be divorce in 3 months...more than likely.