Is my partner disrespecting my feelings by defending his rude sister?

[Anonymous]

my firends and family agreed that her behavior was out of line and that she may be younger than me but it was no excuse to behave like that. personally i didn’t care how she behaved with me but when my partner dismissed her behavior i felt like my feelings and respect was not taken into account. i felt that he didn’t care about me like that. he kinda shows me that she is rude to everyone and i should absorb that. i felt out of place.

i confronted his behavior and he just avoided and defended her behavior more. at times he makes me feel heavy and a burden.

i just felt that he showed more patience towards her than he does for me in this situation. im not sure if this is true or if im just feeling a bit off or something, like I don't know entirely……what do you think?

like i did somthing silly i asked Ai to analyze my text messages with him and it stated that he was showing more patience towards the sister or something like that and im not sure if artificial intelligence can even be accurate. so i decided ask about this situation here on gag, haha…..

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

First of all, AI tells you what it thinks you want to hear, so I would put zero truthful stock in it.
Secondly, while I can understand the pain of having your feelings invalidated, you described nothing of what the sister did or why he might defend her

[Asker]

i was in the room alone with her and i was just brieng polite and asking her how is collage and everything but she just reacted with hate and i didn’t know what else to say of do and it felt quite awkward

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I don’t think your boyfriend would defend her unless you did something to her previously

[Asker]

i didn’t do anything. like nothing

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

See, that makes me suspicious. Anytime someone says something like that, they actually have done something but just refuse to acknowledge it, like the time my grandma made my mom cry over a pint of ice cream. She apologized, and then added in it really wasn’t a big deal in the first place because it was nothing to her and should have been nothing to my mom, but my mom disagreed because that’s not how people work. And my grandmother got mad at her when she told her as much. You sound a lot like her. I’m willing to agree you don’t know why she dislikes you, but clearly there’s a reason.

[Asker]

look if i really did somthing to her i would take responsibility for my actions and wouldn’t feel dismissed by my partner and i wouldn’t even be asking this post.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

So why not apologize? It may have been nothing to you, but it was clearly something to her. I bet your boyfriend would be willing to tell you what it was too

[Asker]

what do you mean?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Ask your boyfriend if there was a specific incident with his sister that made her dislike you. Apologize to her for it, even if you don’t agree that it was a big deal

[Asker]

im just thinking that your thinking that i actually did something. so like whatever this isn’t helpful

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Well, do you want to be proven right and told that she really is treating you unfairly, or do you want to improve your relationship with your boyfriend’s sister? From where I’m standing, you can’t have both

[Asker]

i see what your telling me. no i can’t have both ways…

[Jeff51]

Ask him why he did that. Was it the 1 time he did this? Maybe he will realize he messed up.

[Asker]

like I don't know. i just felt like he cared more than usual about her. i was in the room alone with her and was asking her things like how is college and whats ur favorite tv shows and she just sat there and acted loke she hated everything i asked her and i sat there not knowing what more to say or what to do.

[Asker]

I don't know he did this a few times i guess…