Who else finds family visiting a bit overwhelming?

[thegreenyogi]

Family relatives are better or worse versions of ourselves and as much as we all love each other some members can be triggering. What's your view?

[Friendlybro79]

This just happened to me two days ago. Had to yell at my Uncle and I feel terrible about it because he's older than me and I love him. He for some reason went on a rant about me over something he doesn't know all the details about and made wildly hurtful assumptions without asking to learn about the situation he actually didn't understand.

I don't yell at my elders. I usually try to reason with them despite getting zero respect as a middle aged myself, since their generation thinks it's ok to be wildly rude and then expect apologies when you raise your voice even in the slightest.

This incident was so weird because I never fight with my uncle but he had a literal outburst and for some reason I was his target. This is my typical experience with folks his age for over the last 30 years. It's not all people of his generation but they don't seem to think they get to tell you who you are and what you're doing is wrong out of the blue and you don't get to even set the record straight because that would be disrespectful of me to them lol. Gaslighting generational family trauma is just normal for me.

Despite being the only levelheaded person in this circumstance, I had to raise my voice when he was being truly cruel for no reason. It was like how dare you defend yourself lol.

Yeah perfect timing of this question and yes so find it overwhelming if this wasn't obvious haha.

[thegreenyogi]

I understand you totally. I have an uncle visiting this week and what you say about your own uncle is what mine is like. I'm the most patient and respectful person you could encounter but I do find it difficult to control my frustration with him because he tends to attack and provoke arguments just so he can throw some punches out of frustration of his own. So I have to say I can't blame you and I cheer you on for standing your ground. Respect comes first no matter age or relation.

[Friendlybro79]

I agree! The sad thing is that I apologized while I was yelling because I can't help but feel bad to. I can't believe I still feel compelled to call him like I'm seven and apologize for sticking up for myself and calling him out for what he got wrong lol.

[thegreenyogi]

I know. It's such a confusing reality isn't it? Lol!

[Friendlybro79]

It is. I want to call him and have a heart to heart while not letting him off the hook but that will probably make it worse even if I apologize for raising my voice. The reality is he should call me and say he's sorry for calling me awful things after knowing me my whole life to be the kid that looked up to him and always treated him with respect. I think I was hurt the most because I'm like is this what you really think of me after all this time?

[thegreenyogi]

It's a shame when we are disappointed and disillusioned about our family. I'm sorry it happened.

[Friendlybro79]

Thank you. It's ok. I'm sure we'll get past it.

[thegreenyogi]

I'm sure you will.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I come from a country where one classic movie topic involves the concept of family. That says a lot.

About how modern family is the most chaotic and annoying institution ever invented lol. Setting starting point of modernity in the 70s probably, that seems to be one moment in time where a respectable amount of people dared questioning and challenging their elders taste for conformity, their views, mores and lifestyles.

And when you introduce challenge in a rigid world, then that friction necessarily produces all sorts of absurd results, could be comedy, often drama and hopefully not too much tragedy...

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

My family doesn't escape this satirical commentary, and me neither. As a group, I believe we impersonate all the flaws regularly mocked and pointed at in the cinematography I know of

[TrueConfection]

That’s a double edged sword for me. I loved my mil and my fil was mostly okay. My husband and I have been married a long time and I cringe when I see him say or do something used to irritate him about his father. I wish I didn’t know about those irritating habits that I learned from years of visits.

Likewise, visits with my own family are sobering. They remind me to be more aware of my thoughts and actions (good and bad). They remind me of how good my life turned out and that I want to and can be a better person.

[TrueConfection]

Hopeful that makes sense🤷🏼‍♀️

[thegreenyogi]

Yes it does. I have spent years breaking toxic wrong behaviours which I saw in my relatives and parents because I understood i would have the same issues and suffer the same way they did so I can understand your frustration.

[TrueConfection]

Exactly!

[TrueConfection]

Thank you for the MHO🩷

[thegreenyogi]

You're very welcome!!!🧡

[Sirenboobzilla]

Honestly never really had an issue with my parents or my brother visiting. I keep my place clean. My family all get along with my boyfriend and roommate. My dad will often pop by when he's driving through the area

[Wholesome_Glory]

Family gatherings are often draining because they center on trivial comfort rather than something meaningful. True satisfaction is not found in the easy warmth of those settings but in the pursuit of a higher excellence that transcends our daily routines. When you stop chasing the shallow dopamine of social approval or simple relaxation you find that real joy is reserved for work that carries actual weight. I look at every interaction as a chance to secure a lasting value that matters long after the noise of the room fades. Do not settle for the exhaustion of performing for others when you could be dedicating yourself to a purpose that is genuinely honorable.

[Iron_Man]

You have to set up a game plan, You have to prepare mentally and physically for your sarcastic cousins when they come over to visit you, You have to let them have it and double their sarcasm and make them feel real uncomfortable and put them in their place and then tell me all about it while I’m eating my popcorn hearing about it 😂

[MissSunshine2]

Yes!!! My family on my dad's side are like the people from the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, except they're not Greek. They're Aussies. I can relate to the character, Toula with her extended family.

[angels]

Well it is a lot of work, that is true but also lots of fun too. So, I actually like it a lot..

[Nikki1989]

I have no real family experience to talk of. Any memories I had have faded a long time ago.

[LiamJHayden]

I was the only child of two only children. Both parents and all four grandparents are deceased. I would love to be able to be overwhelmed by family visiting.

[FrodoSkywalker007]

It depends on the relatives. Family in general exhausts me, but many care to avoid

[Anonymous]

It's difficult
cause i know i am smiling but beneath that smile it's something else.

[exitseven]

It is no day at the beach.

[RedInnocent69]

Three days tops appears to be the limit

[WhitneySnow]

Sometimes!

[robocop666]

some are boring as hell