Am I a bad person for matching other people’s energy?

[Anonymous]

I am nice to people who are nice to me and I am mean to people who are mean to me I give the same energy back.

[melnc]

You know, I used to be exactly like that, nice to everyone, no matter how they treated me. I told myself I was a good person, almost like an angel. But looking back, that wasn't kindness. That was me being a people pleaser, just so I could feel good about myself. And where did it get me? Nowhere. I always ended up at the bottom of everyone's priority list. Nobody cared about my feelings. Nobody had my back. I kept asking myself (Why do people treat me badly when I'm nothing but good to them?)
Then it hit me, the problem wasn't them. The problem was me. I wasn't respecting myself. I was giving everyone all of me, and leaving nothing for myself. So I changed. I started putting myself first and at first, I thought that made me selfish. But then I realized (it's not selfish to protect your peace. It's survival.)

Now I'm a different person. I have clear boundaries. I don't chase people, and I don't beg anyone to stay. If you respect my limits, we're good. If not? That's on you, not me. Because at the end of the day, I'm not here to be used anymore. I'm here to live with dignity, and that starts with how I treat myself. So yeah, treat people exactly how they treat you. Match their energy and don't over explain yourself because at the end of the day, you don't owe anyone anything. Always keep your door open for those who wanna leave, and make sure you close it tight behind 'em. (Yourself) comes first, before anyone else. And that's what really matters.

[melnc]

Thanks 😊

[Anonymous]

Matching someone's energy is not inherently bad; it is a helpful tool for building rapport and setting healthy boundaries, but it can quickly become toxic if it’s used as a passive-aggressive game or if you mirror negativity.

[Asker]

I have been through a lot my own family abused me and I don't want people continue to abuse me.

[Rapport]

No, it’s good if anything.

[FrodoSkywalker007]

Not at all

[Danny_dan92]

Nope