How do I start practicing and getting comfortable with not giving my positive energy to nasty people and enemies?

[Lady84684brb]

So for example at work or my roommates. I have three roommates now and they are all selfish jerks and even nasty towards me. One is a girl who can't even say hi when she sees me but has no problem opening her mouth to send nasty rude texts bossing me around like I was her child.

Now see I am always a nice sweet gentle person. But I am tired of playing along. i thought i could play along with all these types of people and act like i am unbothered and happy no matter what. I am courteous and polite no matter what. I guess its good for customer service jobs (which is actually what i do lol) like when you get Karen customers. But for my real life outside work I think i need to learn to be comfortable NOT acting overly nice and friendly towards people I inside already know are total assholes.

Again I never want to be mean or rude or nasty. Thats not me and I dont want war or arguments. I want to have civility and peace as much as possible. But i think i go overboard by pretending I trust these people. I dont think should act friendly. Maybe cordial and polite. But friendly? I think doing that is killing my conscience and soul. Because then I keep rewinding the interactions and they bother me on a soul level. I feel dirty. I need to pull the bandaid. Idont need friends like that. So why pretend I want to be friends?

Any tips on how to speak when I have to interact with people like that, please share. Or any tips in general. Thank you so much!

[TheBootyChest]

My first suggestion would be to find a new place to live. Even if it is couch surfing with people who are a bit more positive than these people.

And I have worked in customer service for 4 1/2 years. So I know what it's like to deal with people and then not want to deal with them outside of work.

Does any of this help or should we come up with ways to talk to them?

[Lady84684brb]

I am actually moving soon due to the lease ending. Its hard to find a place to live or surf. I dont have any friends right now sadly and every roommate i have had in the past has been a piece of shit or sided with the piece of shit roommates leaving me alone. 1 vs. Multiple. Its not fun. Yeah thats why I am asking for ideas to deal with this because I don't think I will ever escape these types of people.

Do you have ideas on how to speak without being friendly? I'm loving and forgiving so I automatically get friendly with people.

[TheBootyChest]

I know how it feels to not have friends. I am currently working to try and build some friendships myself. So just know you are not alone.

Think of it like this, it's not about speaking friendly with them, or being rude as fuck either. It's about being in the middle ground. Being assertive, not aggressive. They are the aggressive ones and you don't want to be them, or lose yourself because of them.

So think through what you need to get across to them. And when you address them be firm in what you are saying and show them how serious you are about the issue. They are like wolves, if they smell weakness they pounce on you, HARD. So stand your ground but don't try to insult them or blame them.

Let me know what you think and we can talk more.

[Lady84684brb]

Thank you so much. I am glad its not just me dealing with needing friends :) I will think about this and see what I come up with. Very good points 👍

[TheBootyChest]

If you want you can follow my profile page, then once I message you we can talk more if you want to.

Always here to help.

[Lady84684brb]

I will add you <3