Am I a bad person for my lack of?

Question

So I have noticed I seem to lack empathy or sympathy for people don't get me wrong I'll fake it ill give you a hug and say everything is going to be ok but I feel little to nothing other than your outburst is annoying.

For instance as a kid I experienced a lot of sexual assault rape mental and physical abuse

My coworker the other day was crying in the bathroom with a few other girls because she apparently got raped 4 years ago and was crying about it.

I Said the basic crap wasn't your fault it gets better yada yada but the only thing I was thinking was God you are fucking annoying stop sniveling like a weak child

Which I don't think I'm supposed to feel that way some thing when people are crying about anything be it losing a limb or a pet or even happy crying I find it incredibly especially when people start swarming to console them don't get me wrong I can understand why they feel what they do and understand the stress but it's still annoying to me

And yes I have cried but it's a vary private event for me most people have never witnessed me crying

Dose this make me a bad person?

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

you have the right to feel anything that you want to and just like them how you express it is up to you

we all go through painful things in life and it's how we deal with them is how we grow.

empathy comes from being there. going through a similar situation or the same situation our family member and you see and you feel the pain.

we all have an energy that runs through our body and whether you believe it or not that energy can feel and see things it can touch other people's energy it can communicate with other people's energy and when you don't understand your energy within then you don't feel as much as people that do feel their energy and understand energy do

in life when we were born we were all given a gift and that gift was choice we get to choose who we want to be in life by the things that we say and do you have picked you have made your choice on who you want to be and how much you want to care and that's your choice that's your business nobody else's

so if that's who you want to be then be that person there's nothing wrong with that

I'm on the west coast I can talk to somebody on the East Coast and I can feel their energy I can feel them I can feel their sadness just by their voice or the tone of their voice if something happens I know it the moment the phone rings it's just because I feel and I see things deeper than most people. I have a choice to either have empathy for them or just walk away it all depends on a lot of different things.

maybe it's how you were brought up
to not show hurt or pain
in the roundabout way we all do the same thing we don't want people to know what we're going through so we don't say anything we hold it in. and I think one of the positive things is is when you feel something like you get angry or something when somebody's going through this you're angry because you don't want to know about it because you don't want to feel things and you don't want to hear people whine because it makes you feel something so as long as you don't say anything to anybody I think it's all good

guy_123 · Accepted Answer

It does not make you a bad person if you understand their situation and try to help them out, which is the right thing to do. But you should think why is that annoying to you? Maybe you don't want to be with them, but then realize you are important for that person at that moment, and if that happened to you you would also like others to care. What is the reason to be angry, do you have something more important to do than helping those around you? It's a matter of good will...

Yes they could cry alone, but maybe they get sad when they are not alone. In my opinion it is better for them to share their fears with others so they can get help to more easily get over it.

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

As long as you don't break the law or deliberately harm other people... everything is OK. I lack social interaction or reading-between-the-lines skills. Does it make me a bad person?

There is no defined set of emotions people should feel when they see other people in distress. In such situations, if I don't have enough information, I rather detach myself.

But you still have some things to address. And not because you lack empathy but because of some traumas that happened earlier in your life. If not solved in the proper way, they will haunt you for the rest of your life.

StarWarGirl · Accepted Answer

No, as long as you are able to sense where you should speak and how much and where you need to stay silent. If you are able to control yourself to speak bluntly when any person is being vulnerable. If you are not making fun of anyone or insulting anyone. It's fine.

Even if you couldn't feel their emotions but can understand what they have gone through. You are not a bad person.

Sonorous · Answer

We're only bad if we output bad. You output good so it's fine.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Trauma can make one a bad person as in when a person decides to recreate what they went through with others. For example had an abusive father so now they also are.
But Trauma that makes one have less empathy does not = the fact they will be bad.

You deciding to fake it because you understand it, is you willing to do something for the benefit of someone else how's that bad?
Hell even if you were honest, that's not bad really. Will for sure cause people to have problems with you but objectively you aren't the one doing something bad to them.

Abuse hasn't made you a monster, it's made you more closed off from emotions which makes sense. And if you wanted, you could try therapy to change that but if you don't want to that's also okay. It's up to you who you are.

Hulk_kitty · Answer

You could have a sign of Autism, because people with autism lack or don't understand empathy.

Does that make you a bad person, no. As long as you don't go round hurting people, and getting a thrill out of it. Not people feel empathy nowadays, as much we think. So don't feel bad about it.

The main thing is, you don't go round hurting people for the sake of it.

MysticDevice · Answer

At some point people just run out of sympathy to give. You can only carry so much sadness before you can no longer feel it.

And its hard to give comfort to someone when no one's ever given it to you. Everybody wants to tell you how they feel, but no one asks you how you feel.

Crankor · Answer

Nah doesn't make you a bad person. As with anything it has its ups and downs. I assume your less likely to get stressed and can handle "tougher" situations in a more calm manner. It can work against you in the relationship aspect. So I guess just to fake it a bit isn't the worst thing but it would help to self reflect on reversing the roles of a situation so you don't become full on apathetic which could lead to you just being a very bitter person.

jahaims · Answer

You lack empathy because of the environment you were brought up in. There is going to be trauma after going through a childhood like that, that contributes to the lack of empathy as a coping mechanism. If you want to have empathy you will probably have to work through your traumas first.

boggboss · Answer

Hmmmmm yeah I would say it does because u are aware enough that it wouldn't be somthing thats acceptable to say and to some degree I think it does speak about your character to think it even if u don't say it

Anonymous · Answer

So you're a psychopath. You literally just described the textbook definition of a psychopath. Lack of empathy lack of sympathy it's literally the textbook definition of a psychopath

At the very least a sociopath

What you have is some type of autism & psychopathic/sociopathic people have some form of autism

Account · Answer

If you don't inflict pain on others or shred them to pieces mentally or emotionally, you are not bad.  Although if I were in your position, I would talk to a therapist.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I don't think it's bad if you mean well. I don't even go for the "everything will be okay" if I don't mean it. I see no point in it. It's just a standard default line to use. It doesn't really help.

Berethor · Answer

Darth Vader: "don't be a baby Luke, I had both my arms and legs cut off."

CozyCoffin · Answer

No. It's understandable after living through trauma. At least you are willing to provide others comfort, despite closing yourself off.

laly520 · Answer

it could be a sign of aspd get checked

Anonymous · Answer

Bad? Possibly. You're definitely not a emotionally healthy person and should definitely seek therapy.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

I DON'T DISAGREE

Anonymous · Answer

Not bad, just indifferent.

Am I a bad person for my lack of?

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