For parents who lost a young child, would it hurt less if the child died at 40+ instead?

Question

I feel sorry for the parents that had early child losses, esp if the causes were due to a disease or accident. I always hear news about toddlers getting run over, drowning incidents at the pool, car crashes, etc.

What if those parent would've enjoyed their lives with their child for much longer years, what if instead of losing their child so early, they lose their child when they're 40+ years old. Would it be less painful?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm not sure you can weigh something like this. I don't have DIRECT personal experience in this matter, but i do have indirect. I had a brother that died when he was still a infant. I remember my mother saying she wanted to climb into the casket with him at his funeral. I also had an older sister that lived her entire life wirh a kidney ailment. So death always loomed and at 48 it finally claimed her. I also remember my mothers response to that. Because for 48 years she never stopped fighting to keep her alive and healthy. Imagine the toll that takes on someone. Imagine the bond that is formed. I remember my mom telling me, "never love someone to much" when my sister died she took a big piece of my mother's heart with her.

I think losing a child at any age hurts. You stop raising them at some point. But you never stop worrying about them, or caring. I think losing my bother hurt my mom, but she was a young mother. A death when you're young can be a sledgehammer because you are not familiar with death yet. Conversely a death when you're older you're more acquainted with death. But it a bond that has developed over many years., decades even.

molonski2 · Accepted Answer

Never easy to loose a child but surely you'd prefer 41 years to say 10 years?  This has not happened to me by the way , but I'm making that assumption from what I've seen happen.

Vesuvius87 · Accepted Answer

It would be the same or even worse. That would be so many years invested and suddenly lost. There is no healing from that type of extreme, emotional anguish, regardless if they were 5 months old or 50 years old when they died.

While my husband and I are alive, we don't ever want to lose our boy. He has to outlive us. He has to bury me one day, not the other way around. I don't ever want to bury my child, never.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

No. Losing a child hurts no matter what age they (or we) are. A parent is never supposed to see their child die.

Iron_Man · Answer

No matter how old the age is they’re gonna be devastated but they’re more attached at age 40+ then they would be at six months old for example but no matter what they’re gonna be devastated. This Is a very hard question to answer it is depressing

Micheal6918 · Answer

Loss of a child is devastating no matter the child's age. There isn't an age at which it becomes "easy."

EmmaMary · Answer

Surely the answer is very evidently obvious.

Espresso86 · Answer

It hurts regardless. I’d be devastated if I lost my son.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

No it wouldn’t

Nikki1989 · Answer

It still hurts.

Anonymous · Answer

Nothing would change my feelings

Veronika_p · Answer

Even worse

For parents who lost a young child, would it hurt less if the child died at 40+ instead?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Is it more traumatizing losing a very young child or during old age?

For parents who lost a young child, would it hurt less if the child died at 40+ instead?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Is it more traumatizing losing a very young child or during old age?

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