Is losing an adult child worse than losing your parents?

[Anonymous]

I'm 35 years old, my parents and grandma are alive and healthy. I would hate to lose them. It would be earth shattering to me.

I still can't imagine losing them, not having them in my life. However I've heard if it's vice-versa (if my parents were to lose me, their oldest child or my 20 year-old brother), it's a lot more devastating. Is it? Both are losses, both are sadness, both live a big hole in your heart.

Updates

+1 y

Both leave a big hole in your heart. You involved losing a loved one.

Updates

+1 y

Then I've also heard that if my grandma lost me or any of her grandchildren, that would be enough to cause her a heart attack. She wouldn't be able to handle the news. I'll be grieving so much the day she dies. I still can't imagine losing her either.

[exitseven]

My parents both died, They were relatively young when they died and it was really hard to deal with but I was able ot somewhat get past it. It ith the natural order of things and all that. If one of my kids died there would be no coming back from that.

[Asker]

I believe it must be similar the way grandparents feel too. My maternal grandma is now 81-82 years old. It makes me sad to even think about the reality of losing her one day.
However, if she lost me or any of her grandchildren (all adults except for my godson who is 8 years old)... she would literally faint and have a heart attack. She wouldn't be able to handle that.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Well, It seems to me if you lose an adult child or a small child it's both sad I lost my Mother but my Dad is still alive in poor health and at age 81 yes it's sad to lose family members.

[Asker]

My mother once said she would think about ending her life if she ever lost us. She said there would be no purpose for her anymore without us. Meanwhile my father once said that no parent should ever be the one burying their child and it's not the natural order.
Your father is exactly my maternal grandma's age. I heard that to grandparents, losing us is like they were to lose a child too. I wish I didn't lose her. I would be sad the day she dies but she would faint and have a heart attack right there (not recover) if she lost me or any of her other grandchildren.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Asker Yeah, I hear you on that one

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for MHO

[Anonymous]

I haven’t lost my parents yet. But i have lost grandparents. And I have also lost my son. He was 6months old. With my grandparents while the lose hurt, mentally i was able to reason with it. They were old and lived amazing lives. Had wonderful children and grandchildren and great grandchildren.


With my son not so much. Loosing a child at that age you loose an entire future with them. All those “firsts” other parents get. I’ll never have with my son. I’ll never get to see him off to school or teach him how to fish. Instead when he would he around the ages for the “firsts” it was just a painful reminder he was gone. The beginning of the school year is always tough. You can't go into any stores with out everything being about getting your child ready for school further reminding you of your child’s absence. I could go on and on.


TLDR. Given my experiences thus far in life child loss has been the most devastating thing I have ever faced.

[Asker]

My heart goes out to you. I'm very sorry for your loss. Was it due to SIDS (sudden infant death symdrome)?
Even though I'm already 35 years old and my brother is 20, we're still my mother's world. Till this day, sometimes she still refers to us as her babies. I guess there is no age when we're stop being her babies. She said it once that if we ever lost us, then her entire world collapses and she would have no purpose of living anymore... it would be something she would never ever recover from.