Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
I hate being a liar.
I hid a friendship from a girlfriend because my girlfriend doesn’t agree with friends of opposite sex. It was easy for me to hold this back because our relationship has always been pretty toxic. It’s up and down. We argue all the time. Never get consistency.
So I lied and hid the friend. It’s been four years now of building this friendship at work that it feels like I gained a sister. It’s been nothing more than a friend to talk to. And honestly I’ve never had someone like that in my life. I’ve always been such a lonely guy so to find someone that I connected like that with was amazing.
but it’s all gone now. Everything blew up in my face. She accidentally called my phone when my girlfriend was around and it blew up. She told me she can’t be around it because my girlfriend is crazy. And the way I lie to keep the peace is crazy and if that’s what I want to do to keep the relationship that’s fine but she wants to be as far away from it as possible.
now me trying my best to look at it from the outside, I get it. I understand. But it hurts so much. My heart was crushed when I was looking at her face telling me. I haven’t felt this sad in so long.
my dog of 13 years died not even a month ago. So I’ve lost my little girl and someone I viewed as a great friend within a month. All for what? Because I’ve been to weak to leave an unhealthy relationship?
I honestly want to die. I hate my life so much. I’m 40. No kids. Not married. Just a girlfriend of over a decade that I get into it with every few weeks.
i hate it
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
0Opinion
Remember, you’re never stuck and it’s never too late to start making changes. It may not feel that way at 40 but there’s people way older than you sitting in college classes, getting married for the first time, or even taking that solo destination trip who would beg to differ. I won’t lie, you messed up by lying to your girlfriend, but you’re messing up even more by staying in a relationship that you know you should’ve left ages ago.
If you consider yourself some sort of coward for staying with her then maybe you need to unpack that so you can heal it and start finding your courage. Yeah it’s scary but life is too short, and the way I see it should could be standing in the way of you and a much healthier situation. I’d even say the same for her when it comes to you, you’re blocking the door for her to move on and find someone else. Disclaimer: I’m giving her that grace because I don’t know her personally, there’s two sides to every story and with this one we are only getting yours.
For all I know you could be oblivious to your tendency to be just as toxic and/or problematic. So in this case, I’ll just keep it neutral by saying you both deserve the freedom to rediscover yourselves, grow, and one day find better matches.
I do feel like a coward. Sometimes I feel a confidence in me and I do push back but somehow I fall back in line. I'm a pathetic coward. Earlier on in the relationship she used to hit me. Bruise my arms that I'd have to lie to my parents about where I got them. I don't understand why I'm so weak. Probably because I was always so lonely. I just liked having someone there.
Which is why losing his friendship hurts so much. Never in my life have I felt that strong platonic connection. No crush. No romantic feelings. Just a good friend. Never. And it's now gone and I feel alone again in this toxic relationship.
Losing this* friendship... sorry
If you haven’t already, then I really think you should consider therapy. Yes it sounds cliche, yes it can be pricey, but I really think you’d benefit from letting a professional give you the tools you need to help get out of this juncture in your life. They could help get to the bottom of these feelings you have, which is so important because for all you know, this is trauma based and we’re seeing the result in real-time, which is feeling to cowardly and weak to leave a very toxic relationship. You got with this woman at a time in your life where you already were having low self esteem issues, being with her has only worsened them to where you feel stuck. Maybe then you’ll find the courage to leave, be single for a while, and heal. I think once you start with that, and the fog kinda clears in your head to where you feel better about yourself, you’ll be able to at least have a proper conversation with the people you’ve burnt bridges with in regards to your girlfriend.
Honestly, I am going to therapy out. I’ve wanted to before but never went through with it. Reading your words has helped me and I appreciate you. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. May seem like such a small deed but it can make such a huge impact on someone.
Good to hear, I hope you’re able to find a therapist you feel comfortable and compatible with. Also, no problem at all, I’m glad to help when and where I can🙏. Good luck with this situation, and feel free to reach out if you need to chat!
You say, 'I hate being a liar,' and yet you're here posting as an anon. If you need someone to explain the irony here, you have bigger issues than just what this post is about.
So sorry to hear about your dog, as well as the issues.
Why do you feel like you can’t leave an unhealthy relationship?
I’d feel like a horrible person if I did.
She is reliant on me. She doesn’t work. Wouldn’t even be able to afford rent without me. She has threatened suicide if I leave.
I've gone friendless all my life. And now that I have confidence and can make friends, im with someone that doesn’t allow it and it sucks.
I've struggled with depression before and thinking of suicide. And this is really bad right now. I hate it.
Why does she not allow friends?
Because she has trust issues. Friends of the opposite sex are a no no unless I’ve known them since I was a kid, which I have none. She even makes it weird with wanting guy friends and makes me feel like I want friends because I don’t want to be around her.
That is seriously messed up. Have you thought about couples counseling? That way someone else can address these things instead of you being the one to upset her.
Thought about it yes. This relationship has stopped me from so much throughout these years it hurts to think of it. Who knows how life would be if I was single this whole time.
It’s really killing me knowing I’m never going to feel my friends hug again as corny as it may sound. Maybe because I never really had that before ever or what but it was just so calming and I felt the love. But it’s gone now
I don’t think it is corny. Friendships are important. They are to me. I have guy and girl friends. My boyfriend doesn’t care.
Count yourself lucky. I believe they are important. Her being in my life made me better I feel. More joy in my heart and this motivation for life. She was very much the opposite of me and more of a go getter. Her presence will be missed. I don’t know how to deal.
🤣🤣🤣 🤣🤣🤣