How do I cope with workplace conflict when I dread seeing him at work?

[Anonymous]

Like this guy who I kinda trusted says something negative my way and I still can’t get it over it feels very heavy in my chest and the fact that we don’t speak anymore like that I just hate the fact that I have to see him again and to add on top of that my little new friend is making it worse bc she’s in that group and is so cool with this guy knowing I can’t Stand him at the moment she be all nodding to him and chatty… anyways what do I seriously do? I can’t quit so

[WhitneySnow]

What did he say that was so bad?

[Asker]

Tried to be all bossy and compare me to another worker

[WhitneySnow]

Maybe he didn’t mean to hurt you. Doesn’t seem like it should cause dread.

[Asker]

This isn’t the first time with him

[WhitneySnow]

I see

I feel like I’ve seen this question before

Still, it shouldn’t cause dread. You need to get a little more thick skinned if you’re going to survive in the workplace.

[Asker]

Yea but he always do me like that

[WhitneySnow]

Just ignore him. Some coworkers are assholes.

[Asker]

Yea you think than my little friend is all in his face acting all cool and nodding at him the moment least I need

[Asker]

It’s kinda like girl if you see me not okay with him why are you siding with him you know what I mean?

[WhitneySnow]

Yeah I get it. You should talk to her about that.

[Asker]

I understand she don’t want trouble with anyone but if she’s my closest friend she’s not being much supportive

[WhitneySnow]

True

[WhitneySnow]

Talk to her

[Asker]

Am I wrong or she ain’t doing anything wrong here?

[WhitneySnow]

She should be more supportive but she may not understand. Talk to her.

[Asker]

I told her everything that has happened and she be defending him lots and basically saying lack of communication 50/50 but the fact that she knows my situation and we sitting on break room and I’m over here in my feelings she looks up at him bc he happened to be walking and nods all smiley like whattt

[WhitneySnow]

Maybe she likes him. Or she feels like you’re blaming him unfairly.

[Asker]

Well clearly she don’t hate him

[Asker]

The fact that she’s my closest friend and still doesn’t support me shows her side

[WhitneySnow]

True.

[Asker]

Bc in reality nor was I or he innocent at the moment

[WhitneySnow]

Tell me again why you and him were fighting?

[Asker]

Me not knowing I was supposed to help the other girl bc I was specifically assigned to my task he comes over asking you’re not helping Juli? I was like trying to explain to him that I had my stuff I was taking care off and thought I was good than minutes later he says Daniel received this much and what about you? I was like there is one across and he left like what?

[WhitneySnow]

I see. He was trying to be all bossy.

[Asker]

Yes exactly.. all he had to say was when you done can you help Juli

[WhitneySnow]

Exactly. What did your friend say when you told her that?

[Asker]

She said it’s 50/50 lack of communication

[WhitneySnow]

She might be right. Maybe try talking to him?

[Asker]

No i cannot it’s so awkward now

[WhitneySnow]

Try. I think you will make your best friend happy if you do.

[Asker]

Haha nah she wants him all to herself

[Asker]

But than days later he says good work diannna

[Asker]

Like bro after all you said earlier ….

[WhitneySnow]

He does sound awful bossy for a coworker

[Asker]

Yea love… but he used to be a team lead two years back so he has it

[WhitneySnow]

That’s why. Do you like him like him or just as a friend?

[Asker]

Neither really and speaking off he never be bossy really always minds his business but that day …

[WhitneySnow]

Maybe give him another chance. Talk to him.

[Asker]

See usually his the one who makes it up bc this isn’t the first time already but this time he isn’t making that move just the words he said good work Diana and that was really it from him

[WhitneySnow]

You may need to reach out this time if you wanna repair this

Gtg soon

[Asker]

Why me tho his the one who did this to me

[WhitneySnow]

Sometimes you have to be the bigger person

Night girl. Good luck.