Why women who have babies with losers/thugs want the good guys to take care of the kids at the end?

[Anonymous]

What I mean is why do women have babies with losers/thugs, then when he leaves her to be a single mother, then want a nice guy in her life for the guy they turned down before, to play daddy to babies that's not even his. I think that's unfair. Do they do it for financial security?

Updates

+1 y

True true..

[kheserthorpe]

There's nothing 'unfair' about it because nobody is making you do it.

Maybe you are complaining because some of those women, when you say you're not interested in raising someone else's kid and being there to bail them out now, say you're being mean or a jerk or something.

Well, guess what. People are going to throw words at you for the rest of your life if they think it will get what you want. Words that hit you emotionally. They'll call you sex obsessed if you want sex and they don't. They'll call you a jerk if you don't do things they ask. They'll say you're not a good dad if you don't do everything for the kids (freeing them up). If people want to drink and you don't you're a loser. If you want to drink and they don't you're an alcoholic. For girls, if they don't have sex, they're prudes, if they want it too much, they're sluts.

Well, there are people out there who are jerks, or hypocrites, or sex obsessed, or bad dads, or alcoholics, or prudes, or losers, or sluts. But just because someone who wants you to do something they want calls you one of these things, doesn't make it so. The sooner you come to peace with that, the better.

[Anonymous]

well women that mess up can still hopeful. even though they are a wreck, they still want the good stuff. no I wouldn't pay for a woman's problems if she was a hoe and got knocked up and the guy left her. but if she was a good girl and she got widowed, that's a different story.

abortion and putting up for adoption are both option to fixing thing but some girls just won't do it for whatever reason whether it be religious/cultural or whatever.

a relationships one thing and taking care of another woman's baby is a huge responsobility. but to answer you question, people are hopeful. even they have a burden, they expect some dumb angel to help fix things for them and commit to their burden.

[Anonymous]

Well I don't believe all women are like this, but I believe it is because before they had their baby they were in love with the loser and thought that when the baby came, the guy would step up, grow up and be the Father. Some do, some don't. When they don't, she then realizes what a loser they actually were and wants better for themselves and their baby. Every Mother wants a good Father figure in their child's life, I don't believe there is anything wrong in wanting that. If they are lucky enough to come across a guy who is decent and wants to be a Father figure to their baby, then good for them. Everyone is happy.

Of course, there are those women who just move from loser to loser, not being able to break the cycle, and giving their kids a crappy childhood. I'd much prefer for a woman to find a decent guy to spend their lives with, then go through that crap.

[Courtsrad09]

okay I'm a single mother and I never ever expected to be. my guy was "the nice guy" and then out of nowhere became the a**hole. Yes, I would love to have someone in my life, but who doesn't? Just because I have a child means I should be alone the rest of my life? Not every single mom is like that because I am financially secure and I do not need anyone taking care of me. You don't need to date a girl with a baby. Simple as that. If the a guy does that's his decision and should know what he's getting into before doing it. so how is that unfair?

[Cuddle_Muffin]

No,

When a girl is innocent or naive and starts out life with a loser or thug and doesn't care to know better...they get a consequence of a baby.

The baby makes them realize how they f***ed up and the gain some common sense.

What sucks is the early ignorance and stubborness.

Yes, it is extremely unfair. They do it for financial security and a daddy figure.

[TrickyNickn]

Yeah they usually do it for financial reasons. I would never be with a girl like that, if I wasn't good enough for her before she had a kid only because I'm not some cheap thug with tattoos and big muscles whose only goal in life is to have shiny rims on his car, then she can take care of her baby herself. These girls had their chance to be with good guys and instead of that they chose to have babies with losers so they should suffer the consequences.

[ElijahCynicism]

What would you prefer them to look for? Another so-called thug to father their child?

Very rare is the woman who would seek a man she know would treat her badly, and should her life be left in tatters by a man she would then realize treated her badly, it would be unreasonable for her to seek a man who would do the same. Logically, if she seeks a man at all it would be one that would treat her well. If she's looking for a good guy, its not to spite you, pal.

[cun7n1nja]

Exactly what I was going to say, lol.

[heavenonearth]

Everyone wants a partner who will treat them well, maybe it's not fair for some people to expect to get that, but it is what it is. If she has kids I doubt she's going to want another loser/thug in their lives. Anyway, you're under no obligation to be with her, so if you don't want to then don't worry about it.

[dIO_oIb]

they do it because they know that said "nice" guys aren't going to tell them no. I agree, it is unfair.

[Anonymous]

There was a question from a single mom the other day, and part of my answer was very similar to this. I think those women should treat that guy like a king if he's willing to step in like that.

[JackValentine]

adn then after she found a "nice" daddy guy to take care of the baby, she would go out, lying straight in your face, and f*** some other loser/thug, then after she is pregnant she will tell you "bob, its your son"

[bapify2]

You're absolutely right, you've brought this to my attention. I also think it's bull, I know a friend of mine who's trapped this way.

[ihatetakingcharge]

i would not date a girl that has kids from another guy

[Anonymous]

if you think it's unfair then don't go out with her

whatever her reasons may be, that's what she choose. you have the choice not to

[GodsGift2Every1]

I guess it's a lesson learned. Plus I don't think no woman puts a gun in their head to force them to stay.

[Ugliness]

Maybe the thugs are a better lay.

[cyrus7]

I wouldn't date a girl who has a kid(s)