What do I do about my boyfriend's obsession with his mother?

[ittybittyhanban]

My boyfriend is an only child to a single mother. He is constantly texting and calling her when he's with me, which is every other night. I can't even have him to myself for just 24 hours. It's been 7 months and only getting worse the closer and closer we get. What do I do? How do I approach this subject? Suggestions pleaseee! it's just making me crazier and crazier.

[Cryostatic]

Wow. Well, it's good that he has a good relationship with his mom. But constantly calling and texting? That's a little weird. And creepy. Also, rude.

Next time, tell him "Ok, am I going to have to like, take your phone away when you're with me? I love that you love your mother, I really do. I'm not such a big fan of the fact that you've got to ~constantly~ talk to her ~all the time~".

He's probably got some sort of subliminal guilt trip about leaving her alone. However, all children must eventually leave the nest, and he's going to have to make a decision on who he prioritizes in his life. Right now, his priority obviously isn't you, and until he learns that his mother will be OKAY on her own, he'll have this problem with any relationship he tries to have with anyone.

[ittybittyhanban]

it is rude but what he thinks is rude is ignoring her texts. And you are absolutely right she guilts him all the time about it and she thinks I don't like her because I've verbalized to him before that when he's with me I'd like him to focus on me and not be talking to her. He thinks I want him to cut ties with her and that isn't it at all I just want to have my time with him when he's with me. I don't find it that much to ask at all and I just don't know what to do or say he makes me feel...

[Cryostatic]

He does NOT think that you want him to cut ties with his mother. He's ~using~ that as ammunition to win his argument so that he doesn't have to change the way things are. He's over-exaggerating and he knows it, and you need to call him out on that.

Quite frankly, he sounds a little like a manipulative a**hole. I wonder who he learned it from?

[Mrsupaakeru]

Explain to him that you would like to be his absolute focus when you are out together. Tell him you want him to ignore texts from people when you are together and you will do the same (only fair) so that you can be present with each other and be focused on sharing each others company. This to me is the most irritating things about cellphones no one can focus on just being with the person they are with. Anyway avoid the whole you spend to much time talking with your mother approach, it will make him defensive.

Although seriously what's his problem?

[ittybittyhanban]

Oh that's what gets me heated the most, I don't touch my phone when with him, I will go the whole weekend without it if we're together an I've tried explaining that to him that is just isn't fair to me that I can give him my undivided attention but can't get it in return. It's not getting through to him.

[Anonymous]

Any guy who calls his mother that often (as in at least once a day) is gay.

Sorry to break it to you this way, but it's true. Not just a random insult that we'd throw on people to say "oh, he's a mommy's boy". No, he's a real honest-to-god maybe-doesn't-know-it-yet-himself homosexual.

[Anonymous]

the real question is: why are you attracted to a mommy's boy?

[ittybittyhanban]

Well he didn't start out as a mama's boy. The less time he spend the home, the worse it's gotten.