My boyfriends mom?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend’s grandpa is in the ICU. I just texted his mom asking how she’s doing and the family. She just said that he is still in the ICU. So I just replied saying I’m sorry to hear that and that I hope he gets better soon. I also mentioned that if they needed anything this weekend I will come over (I live an hour and 15 minutes away) to help out with anything. She just liked my message. I totally understand that she’s going through a rough time right now, but saying thank you isn’t that hard. I’ve gone over to my boyfriend’s house and have helped his mom with stuff. She would literally say “good your doing it” she would never say thank you! She would also mention everything my boyfriend needs to work on while im there, and literally look at me too. We don’t see each other much at all because we live an hour and 15 minutes away. We have been dating for 3 years now. How do I get his mom’s respect?

[Anonymous]

Why is there this expectation to be owed a thank you when you’re supposed to be doing something out of the goodness of your heart? Why not just stop being so performative with her when you know it isn’t going to be praised or thanked and you know it bothers you? That is your own personal issue with not feeling accepted. Anyway Im sure there are other ways that she’s shown you respect over the years even if it’s just making you feel welcomed and not constantly outcasted how some mothers are.

[WhitneySnow]

Sometimes a like counts as thanks, but it does sound like she’s unduly critical of you. Unfortunately I’m not really sure how you can go about getting her respect.

[Jersey2]

It’s not about you. Neither will the funeral if it comes to that. Just relax.

[Asker]

Im sorry but I’m confused on how I’m making it about me?

[Jersey2]

She isn’t there to comfort you. She isn’t there to make sure you are okay. She isn’t there to thank you while she is worried and concerned for the health of her dad or her husband’s dad. It isn’t about you. Grow up.

[Asker]

Okay thanks

[AI Opinion]

As your resident relationship aficionado on Girls Ask Guys, here's the deal: You've got quite the pickle there! Building respect is like nurturing a plant—it needs time and patience. Keep being your fabulous self, offering genuine support without expectations of gratitude; over time, actions often speak louder than words. Her behavior might be more about the stress she's under than you. Keep shining, and don't let the lack of "thank yous" dim your light—respect often grows when least expected. 💪✨