Is my boyfriend in love with his best friend who is a female?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I are together for just over a year now. We are very close - we see each other often and sleep over at each others houses. And we have also met each others' families.

He is always very affectionate with me - always cuddling, hugging, kissing, stroking my belly and always has his arm around me and calls me "my baby" and tells me he loves me.He also loves my body shape (hips, thighs, belly - curves).

He also have a female best friend and they talk a lot on a daily basis and they say I love you to each other and he always does favors for her and buys her things and they fight quite a lot and if he doesn't do as she says, she yells at him and they get into fights and he ends up getting moody and really sad? He also speaks to her in private and feels uncomfortable to talk to her when I'm in front of him...

is he in love with her or emotionally attached to her?

or is she just using him?

why are they so close?

(they are friends for awhile now - way b4 he met me, plus he ahs told me that he would never marry he because she isn't his type and she fights way too much)

They're more than friends

She is using him/ blackmailing him

Theres some kind of an emotional attachment

She / they are just plain weird

Updates

+1 y

if there was an emotional attachement, what kind would it be?

Updates

+1 y

could they be sex buddies?

[idolovepanties]

I have first hand experience at this. Now this does not mean that it applies to you situation. I was married with children for 25 years. I had a secretary who I did form a very strong bond with. She was my right hand person at the company. We started off just talking and then it turned sexual. We were both Alpha personalities and could clash very badly. I was in love with her and had some of the best sex I have ever had. I think we both were enfactuated with each other very badly. We had a hard time sayintg goodbye to go home at night after work and most of the time sex.

I was jealous in certain ways. I hated her going anywhere with out me even though I knew she was married and I knew him. When we fought over something, it was generally over just missing the other one or they not saying the right thing when we needed to hear I love you.

For all intents and purposes she was my best friend. We did things sexually my wife wouldn't do. I could tell her anything. She would come onto me where my wife wouldn't. Here is the bottom line. I couldn't and wouldn't today, even though I am single, marry that woman. We would still fight light cats and dogs. As bad as we fought, the sex was as equally as intense. She was so sexual, if it pleased me she wanted to do it. If I wanted another woman to join us, she was dead set on finding one. We never did. But that is how intense it was. So we had both ends of the scale. The hottest sex immaginable for both of us, but I got so mad at her one time, I put my whole fist through the windshield of the car grabbing for her neck. One end of the scale to the other.

If this sounds anything like what they are experiencing, that you know of, then make your own decision. You should be his best friend. Not her. if you really want to find out if there is hanky panky, follow him. Then call him on the cell phone and see if he is where he is supposed to be, but you are right outside where he is. If she calls, or he calls her, use your smart phone to record the conversation. Most phones have a record button to record a conversation in the room. Walk in and say you forgot something and leave the phone. Get an app that tracks his GPS movements. If you want other ideas email me.

Chris

[Asker]

did you and your wife divorce because of her? were you buying her things?

[kholland65]

You sound like a scum bag. Cheating on your wife with your secretary. Classy.

[kholland65]

There is def an emotional attachment, but it may be an innocent type of emotion. Like the love you have for a family member. He does seem like he's really into you so its not like he trying to leave you for her. However, out of respect for you, I think he should be slightly limiting his time with her and not telling her he loves her.

[Asker]

he always very affectionate with me and cuddling with me, but he never takes me out places and he seems to be buying her things, but he is still with me...is she usingg him? they fight quite a lot

[Asker]

and why is he so sad and moody after they have a fight? is it because he's sensitive?

[kholland65]

Well some guys are just not good at arranging plans and taking girls out. Frankly its become an old fashioned practice, but I don't like this change. Many guys won't be seen taking a girl out on a date unless its an anniversary. This is a separate issue which can be talked about but it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He'll get moody after a fight because simply put, nobody likes fighting with their best friend, guy or girl. I wouldn't put it past her to be using him. Not uncommon.

[SandyLychee]

If they've been friends since childhood their behavior is not that weird, to me they seem like they have more of a sister-brother relationship. But if they are attracted to each other I think you should be able to see that attraction when you're around them. If he's stopped having sex with you as much as he had before, maybe he's getting it on with her... but emotinal attachment can be 'i love you like I love my own sister'..

you two seem close, why don't you just ask him about them, tell him you've never met anyone who would have such an intense relationship with 'just a friend'. Hopefully he doesn't freak out, that you're accusing him of anything..

[Asker]

we never do have intercourse but we always cuddle and he always has his arm around me and is very affectionate with me...

[SandyLychee]

well I don't know you two guys so I don't wanna be rude here, but maybe sex is the thing missing in you relationship, the thing that will make him not think about her and pay more attention to you..to most of the guys cuddling is not enough. but like I said, I don't know you two, so if you like have an agreement not to do it before marriage, then I don't know what else you can do to get his full attention.. just tell him their relationship bothers you, if he's in love with you, he'll understand

[samhradh_leannan]

It's hard to say exactly what's between them, but it does strike me as odd that platonic friends of different genders would say "I love you". Either they just have an extremely close bond (were they childhood friends?) or there is something suspicious going on. But it's impossible to know which it is without more information.

[Asker]

they are old friends and they do go way back - he knew her way before he met me...

but he was telling me that he was just covering his ass when he says this to her because she always yells at him...is she using him? that's what his mother says...

[samhradh_leannan]

If she yells at him... that's not okay. Maybe she's upset about something and is taking it out on him, because he's there for her. Or maybe their friendship is really unhealthy. It's hard to say, unfortunately.

[samhradh_leannan]

It's possible that they're involved sexually- anything is possible- but we have no way of knowing. If anyone would be able to tell, it would be you. If you think their relationship is excessive and it bothers you, you can try having a calm discussion with him about how you feel. Don't be too critical or threaten his right to be friends with her. Just point out that their behavior surpasses what is "normal" between platonic friends of the opposite gender.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

It's hard as hell to tell without knowing either of them tbh. It sounds like there could be an emotional interest in her by him, or at least at one point, but I wouldn't say that doesn't mean he doesn't love you or that he'll do anything with her. I mean it could be more a sisterly love he feels for her. I dunno. Again, we can't tell anything withou knowing those people.