Do you consider it rude when friends are speaking another language around you?

[Robotic]

You are hanging out or just nearby your friends and two or more of them start talking in a different language. do you think that is rude?

[noidfome]

I think it really depends on the situation. I'm a conversacion partener with a guy from venezuela, and although he speaks only Spanish (and is learning English) I speak English and am learning Spanish. Sometimes, if I can't find the right word to describe something, we talk in Spanish, But I would always translate the conversation/only speak in English except short phrases when others are around. I think its poor taste and bad manners to act like (sorry, the only example that comes to mind is my nail girls) my pedicure ladies do, and they all speak in vietnamese the entire time. I always think they are talking about me, and it's hard to read gestures. That sounds egotistical, but it really does make you feeel very dumb. I agree with musicbrain5 in that, it doesn't bother me if its friends, as long as í feel included in the conversation.Even the effort of tring to translate is enough for me to feel not-excluded.

(did anyone else picture gossipy girls when they read this question? like he did...to her...with...and... and you are just like o_0).

[RedSmartie]

Depends on the situation. Sometimes people do it just because they can, and sometimes a private conversation is needed.

For example, I had two friends growing up who were sisters. They were from Brazil and they spoke fluent Portuguese. They would always speak it in front of me when we were playing dolls and games and stuff and would carry on in whole casual sounding conversations while I'm sitting there dumbfounded.

On the other hand, I'm fluent in American Sign Language, and so is my mother. Sometimes we could be having a private conversation when someone walks into the room, so we resume in sign, or we have something quick and private to say to each other. But never whole conversations. I think that's okay.

[Marawa]

I understand if it's with a parent who doesn't speak English but it is really rude if the person does speak English but around you they chose not to. That's as though you want me in the picture but you don't want me to know what you're saying.

[DutchAtheist]

I work in an international environment and sometimes people just want to say something complex very quickly so that decissions can be made faster. Although they all speak English, not everybody is completely fluent so sometimes you sidetrack and talk a different language with a person, if the conversation is not that important to the others anyway. It is not impolite as long as it is not meant to exclude people. I'd expect those people to inform the rest after the brief conversation in the other language.

[DirtyDiaper]

great question, no I don't find it rude if they say something small to each other for example if we're talking about something in a group of 6 aand 2 of them go on a parralel in their own language it doesn't btoher me, it bothers me when there's 3 of us and 2 of em are constantly speaking their own language even tho they all speak English

[Anonymous]

Yes, and people who speak a different language find it rude if they do it as well, providing they have manners.

I went to a boarding school. Lots of people would speak in their own language, even if they had an English friend with them. However, there were three Japanese girls who had manners and spoke in English when they were with a non-Japanese. I had a friend who usually had breakfast with the Chinese girls and sometimes she would just be sitting there quietly because no-one on the table was speaking English. I felt really sorry for her.

[martyfellow]

Sometimes, if the impression is given they are trying to HIDE something from you, or are makng fun of you. I got in big trouble once for going on about how tight someone's skirt was and how nice her body was. I thought they wouldn't understand what I was saying but they somehow intuited what I was saying from my body language. Maybe it was my lips smacking or something!

[musicbrain5]

Haha! Something like that actually happened to my boyfriend once, but the other way around... we were waiting in line for something and there were these two girls behind us who were saying stuff about us in Serbian (his language), so he was listening and when they finally shut their mouths he turned around and gave them sh*t for it.

[Anonymous]

depends on the situation. say you and your friend meet someone from another country which does not speak your language but your friend masters it so he speaks that stranger's language to make the communication between you connected, like a translator does. this is still acceptable.

but if you hang out with two of your friends, say just to have fun together and they talk their language which you don't understand instead of using the language you and they understand, then this is rude. because it seems that they don't consider you someone they wanna talk with. what is the point of hanging out together ?

[CatholicVirginia]

For the most part, yes. I can understand making a quick joke or saying something small, but actually talking and purposely cutting someone out of the conversation is incredibly rude. If you want to have a private conversation so badly, do it in private. Don't make everyone else feel unwelcome.

[CrystalMinds]

Yes, I do. I know a couple of guys who come from different countries, so they speak their native language to each other once in a while, when me and most of my friends don't even understand them. They don't do any effort of translating it for us so I just say they shoud speak our language or shut up. Kinda rude, but they do it quite often and I got tired of it.

[GGGGGG_unit]

if they don't translate it for me and just leaves me out of the conversation then yeah its really rude. I get this all the time when I'm around some portuguese people. like when we have dinner with his parents, they speak in their language and totally ignore me like I'm not there. but when we have dinner with my parents or cousins, we speak filipino sometimes but we translate it for them and include them in our conversation

[Asaria]

I think its rude, my friend we are hangout with 4 people, and two of them start speaking in korea wich i dont understand but i know they only chitchat about the pizza and the waiter but i feel left out cause i don't understand completely. I mean come on i learn japanese and dutch and they dont understand, so i never practice in front of them even i never mumbling and speak using japanese and Dutch in front of them, my one friend in grup also speak Japanese but we didn't start talking in japanese cause we feel its rude

[kdizzleforizzle91]

If they know how to speak English and are aware that I can't speak another language that they can, I do think it's rude. It's happened to me before... a girl I was friends with years ago, who is Mexican, invited me to her birthday party with her family (including a couple aunts/uncles/cousins) and a couple friends. The majority of the time I was there, she and her family only spoke Spanish, even though they all could speak English fluently.

[musicbrain5]

No, it doesn't bother me all that much, and especially if it's friends. My boyfriend's first language isn't English, and often when he is with his friends and his family they speak their language. If I'm there, he always tries to give me a translation, especially if we're with his parents (who also speak English but not to each other). Although sometimes it's hard because conversations can move really fast but I appreciate the effort.

[Anonymous]

Yes. It promotes exclusivity and it's unnecessary when people are trying to socialize as one whole group of you have a select few having their side conversation. It's almost like they are saying you aren't welcomed into whatever they're talking about because if you were, why wouldn't they just speak English? I think it's rude and slightly tacky.

[smallguy]

No I do not mind friends so long as it is not a lengthy convo. Not like Indians on the mobile or cell they just plain annoying just talk over you like a voice over. Sorry I could not resist this I think it is plain rude on their part.

[Mtsmith]

Depends on conditions. Just hanging, a few words, no problem. But it can be rude if everyone is making plans. But sometimes, I have been with those still learning English, helps cut confusion. So, depends greatly...

[Anonymous4135]

If they are having a full blown conversation and not including you, then yes.

But if they are just saying a couple things here and there then no.

[tswayd]

I do think it's rude. When I'm speaking English in front of my Chinese family and friends who don't speak English I always want to translate to them. Otherwise I'm just ignoring their presence which is offensive.

[sukidesu]

YES. this has happened to me. we all knew English and the two of them decided to converse in Urdu. I don't really hang out with them anymore. It's impolite.

[Anonymous]

If the so called friends are capable of speaking in English but choose to speak in a different language when there are others around, yes then it is rude. Many people are too polite to say anything about it !

[Wenona_Mandy]

I speak a little German sometimes if I don't want other people to hear what I am saying to a friend, and if they can understand what I am saying. I don't talk bad things. I am just a private type of person. Not everyone needs to know everything.

[caligirl3]

yes I do think its rude. I also think its rude when people speak their language in stores and such unless they are tourists.

[paintthesilent]

yes very, I have Chinese friends that do that all the time I said its not polite but they still do it in front of me pisses me off

[JessC03]

I only talk to my mom in French if we are arguing and we don't want them to hear what we're arguing about. But otherwise we speak in English and I don't think it's rude.

[CatholicVirginia]

But that's why it would be considered rude. "we don't want them to hear what we're arguing about." The idea is that, in speaking another language, you are purposely excluding everyone else from the conversation. And yet you aren't polite enough to have the conversation out of their presence. You just cut them out.

[tswayd]

that's understandable but sometimes it may be inconvenient to relocate and so a short conversation in a different language, to make sure others don't know what you're saying, I think that's ok.

[JessC03]

If my mom is yelling at me, it's better to talk in another language so that they don't feel uncomfortable being In a fight or having to pick a side. Usually there quick arguments and I don't mind telling my friend what happened once its resolved.

[shalehandro]

Maybe if they are talking about me if not who cares

[Anonymous]

Great question Dr. Douglas and I do think it is rude to talk in another language in front of others.

[menina]

Yes and it pisses me off !

[lifes_curve_ball]

No, I'm cool with it